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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The Navy found they had too many officers and
decided to offer an early
retirement bonus. They promised any officer who
volunteered for retirement a bonus
of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line
between any two points in
his body. The officer got to choose what those two
points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be
measured from the top of his
head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six
feet and walked out with a
bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter
and asked to be measured
from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes.
He walked out with

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a
grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he
would like to be measured replied, "from the tip of
my weenie to my testicles."
It was suggested by the pension man that he might
want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice big checks the previous
two officers had received. But the
old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with
him providing the
measurement was taken by a medical officer. The
medical officer arrived and instructed
the Chief to "drop'em," which he did. The medical
officer placed the tape
measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began
to work back.

My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your

The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam
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