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Discussion Starter #1
I'm probably the newest newb here since I just joined the fraternity tonight. I've got to say, though, that at my age I'm proud to be called a newbie at anything. I've been lurking for a couple of weeks – read the FAQs and most of the technical threads on what I gather are the historical files. I gotta' say you guys almost made me reconsider, but I pulled the trigger anyway and brought home my new (to me) 2003 LT. So anyway, I just want to make sure I've done my homework and can recite the LT rules. Corrections are welcome.

Never have the front wheel turned when stopping.
Never use the front brake in a slow speed turn.
Never park on an uphill slope.
Never park on a downhill slope.
Never park in neutral.
Never park? Nah, that's unreasonable, isn't it?

As I understand it, strict adherence to these rules will not make any difference in the long run, since the gremlins will dump your bike over anytime they feel like it. I would like to apply for an exception, however, based on earned credit. I dropped my RT1150R twice, only once which was really my fault – I could swear I had the kickstand down. The other time I was washing it and only wanted to move it a little bit (that downhill thing) and with my soapy hands it was worse than a greased pig. That cost me a right side mirror and as another inmate said, left my family jewels unaccounted for when I picked it up. My other credits come from my 1150 GS while being a responsible citizen and attempting slow speed maneuvers trying to get the feel of a 600 pound dirt bike. I must have dropped it a half-dozen times, all in the grass, in my side yard. So can I please get a pass on the LT?

More rules:
Change your oil every 3000 miles or every other day, whatever makes you feel superior.
Have a spare for every part on the bike and carry them all everywhere you go.*
(Exception: have at least two final drives at all times.)
Have a set of Bridgestones and a set of Metzelers and change them out according to climate and traffic conditions.
Get a real cowbell to disguise the clanging of the rear disc.
When all else fails, clip the brown wire.

I think I'm going to like this bike, if I can ever pass the written test.
 

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Now THAT is some funny stuff! :histerica

It's no wonder you got all that from reading that many posts!

Welcome aboard,

Loren
 

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I think you did your homework, now its time for the test...multiple choice 50 Q's.. LOL
Enjoy the bike and welcome!!
 

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Welcome aboard Dwight, I think you pretty well have the rules covered. Now go out and ride the LT like you stole it and forget about a written test. :wave
 

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Apparently the written portion of the test has been lost, so a practical test will have to do. Go out, fire up the bike and hit the road. The practical test, part I has now begun. We may see some of your answers from the practical posted here. Welcome. Enjoy!
 

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WELCOME...............loved your newbe post. Are you sure you aren't a writer as well as a rider?
Well said and you've for sure done your home work.

You'll blend in great here on this GREAT board.
Vern :bmw:
 

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wa1200lt said:
Now THAT is some funny stuff! :histerica

It's no wonder you got all that from reading that many posts!

Welcome aboard,

Loren
Hey Loren, been trying to send you a PM and it doesn't seem to be working. Please drop me an email to [email protected]

Got some side car questions for you.....Bill
 

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Congrats on a great purchase, enjoy it cuz that is the "written test". Love your sense of humor.
 

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That kinda humor is NOT welcome here, my friend. Ya see my nickname??? It's "version 2", because version 1's sense of humor got me into all sorts of trouble. This forum is serious business. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Then again ... I'd never be a member of a forum that would have me as one. ;)

Welcome. :wave LOVE your first post. :)

whitehouse said:
Never park on an uphill slope.
All joking aside, I don't get this one. So long as you keep it in gear.
 

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Joe is right about keeping it in gear on an uphill slope - using the sidestand. Pretty easy to unload the stand and depart.

On the centerstand? Not so much. ;)
 

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Sorry Bill, saw your pm about 15 mins before I saw this note. :eek: Already responded.

Loren

Boatzo said:
Hey Loren, been trying to send you a PM and it doesn't seem to be working. Please drop me an email to [email protected]
Got some side car questions for you.....Bill
 

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Discussion Starter #17
OK - I might not have been completely honest with you all. It came to mind that I had actually dropped the 1150R once more, but I thought I might weasel out of culpability since ownership was a gray area at the time. I had listed the 1150 on ebay and had a successful transaction. The purchaser had set a time to meet me here in LA since he was driving down from Arkansas, so I loaded her up into the trailer (I know, I know - I probably angered the gremlins by not riding her) and headed out to meet him at the truck stop. We met, shook hands, got to know each other, and I dropped the tailgate/ramp. I was met with the sight of the bike laying down on its saddlebag (excuse me, system case). Well, this was just terrible! The brand new owner was standing there and the poor bike was lying down, helpless. We jumped in and picked her up, checked for damage, found none, and we all felt much better. So I decided to unload her and let him check her out.
Remember that sticker that says something about residual braking only? I remembered it, too, very shortly after I started gently easing her down the ramp. I didn't start her up; why should I? We were just going to back down off the ramp. But when the rear tire cleared the breakover point, we weren't gently easing any more. Forget residual braking. Forget any brakes at all. I didn't even have time for the expletive deleted. Malcolm Smith probably could have ridden her down backwards and completed some fancy parking maneuver. I'm not Malcolm Smith. I couldn't and didn't and never want to try it again. So after I got up and we picked her up, again, we checked for damage again. Not so lucky this time. The mirror was broken, I believe FUBAR is the appropriate term, and the system case had lost its locking mechanism.
Now what? I gave the guys an out and offered to let them back out on the deal, but they said they were already down here from Arkansas. So, I promised him a new mirror and a new case and gave him a little refund and we all were satisfied. I can't say happy, because you can't be happy when you have just demonstrated to the guy with the check just how stupid you are.
So that's why I may be able to get out of the last drop since technically, it was his bike when I dropped it. That's my story and I'm sticking with it. Jeez, if this is too long, somebody please tell me and I'll talk to my editor.
 

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Thanks for compiling that most awesome list. It will be a great help to all. Essentially the bike should never be parked, it should always be in motion with you in control.

Very funny! Thanks again.
 
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