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Your Starship Enterprise Captain might be a ******* if....
Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month
He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles
You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"
He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil
He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section
He says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"
He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen
He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it
He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"
He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser
He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"
He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster"
He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens
He paints the starship John Deere green
He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"
He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"
His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale
His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls
He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge
He sets phaser to "Cajun"
`
Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month
He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles
You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"
He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil
He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section
He says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"
He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen
He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it
He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"
He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser
He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"
He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster"
He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens
He paints the starship John Deere green
He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"
He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"
His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale
His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls
He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge
He sets phaser to "Cajun"
`
