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Discussion Starter #1
Hi, guys,

Life has a way of changing everything. Time to catch up and see how you guys are after
Greg (Gruivis) got my mind back on riding.

As some of you may know, my wife has required 24/7 caregiving from me for the last 4 years and off and on health problems several years prior to that. So the LT was sold in order for us to do things in life while we could.

Now, I need therapy to deal with the stress. And I am getting that. But now the risk of injury vs burnout recovery is a very real consideration. Yes I am completely burned out and no longer can deal with 100% sacrifice with no help at all. My psychologist wants me to weigh in on the possibility of riding again.

So, if it is ok I will listen in with great interest. Hope to get to know you all once again.:))
 

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Hawg, my sympathy to you for what you've been going through.

I've been a lurker on this site since July when I bought my 2002 K1200 LTE. I'm now 60 and kick myself for not having bought this bike sooner. I loved them when they came out, I love mine now. With that said... my 2 cents worth... It seems that many K1200 owners have migrated or regressed to the RT and have been very happy with a lighter and more nimble bike. I've had more practice than I'd care to admit to in uprighting my bike from standing still tip overs. Are you anywhere near a place you could rent for a day or two to see what feels best for you? I just committed BMW heresy riding an Indian Chief up the Pacific Coast Highway and through the Los Padres National Park - and loved it. I'd still rather be on my BMW. Bottom line - a day that includes riding is always better than a day without. Best wishes to you!
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Thanks, Pete.

The LT is such a capable motorcycle. In 2006, I hit a deer at night at 60mph and rode it airborne and through a tank slapper for a half mile. A bit of fur and meat with a bent brake pedal and two dropped mirrors that broke from their tethers.

I reckon my previous HD rides would have seen a different outcome. But the GW and another Ultra are always catching my eye.

For now I must live vicariously through you folks!!!
 

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Full time care by an individual is both physically and mentally exhausting. I am a nurse at a local trauma center and sometimes see family members (full time caregivers) in worse shape than the patient.

Work through a local hospital or community agency to see if it might be possible to arrange respite care a few hours during the week. This care is often available at no or very low cost and can usually take place in your home if most appropriate. The respite care providers will be properly trained to provide care appropriate to the situation.

As for riding the motorcycle for therapy? I think it is an awesome idea. Like most folks I went through a rough patch a number of years ago and found that when riding, the concentration necessary to 1. keep from getting whacked by an idiot (or careless) cager, and 2. keep the bike upright and between the stripes broke the cycle of constantly dwelling on the issue at hand. Felt like the weight of the world was lifted.

I wish you the best. One of the major differences between the care you provide and the care I provide is that no matter how tough it gets I always get to go home at the end of my 12 hour shift. Arrange some time for yourself. It will do both of you good.

Loren
 

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Why a Wing or Ultra when you can get an LT for so much less and a better bike IMHO. I see 2000-2003 LT's with less than 30k on them for a damn good of a price all the time. Are you looking for someone too talk you out of it. You've come to the wrong place.. LOL
 

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Welcome back Dave, I have been off two wheels since November of 2012 due to a non mc accident. I still have two LT's in the garage though I am still not sure I will be able to get back on two wheels. Like you it was a big part of my life that I miss daily. Find a way to get back on two wheels, it will do your heart well.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Loren:
At last... Someone who can relate to caregiver suffering. Thank you for that! I have given my all and now need to find myself. The risk concerns me but my psych wanted me to weigh the risk of riding with the risk of not riding.

James: thanks, my first rides were HD, and I considered a GW in 2004 when I was blown away with the LT... It has soul.

Jeff,

Great to hear from you, man, are you ok? Dang, sorry to hear about your injury. How is the prognosis?
 

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Hawg, not to bundle you into this exact category however I think there are some similarities in your experience... in OZ we have a motorcycling support campaign for raising awareness about depression (and its links to suicide) called Black Dog Ride.
Perhaps you can find a similar group in the US motorcycling community you can call on that understands both aspects of your life, the personal stress and the love of motorcycling?
I'm starting to have to do some "caregiving" with my father who at just on 87 is still relatively good but been undergoing melanoma treatment, anyone who gives their all full-time to support someone else has the attributes of an angel in my book.
All the best to you.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
cws:

I wish I knew your name but appreciate your ideas! I am really trying to find myself as I have gone through depersonalization for lack if a better term. I love the idea of starting a ride for raising awareness of depression. Even caregiving.

Going to the link you gave me...

Btw, I have some dear friends in Oz... Where are you located?:))
 

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I'm in the heart of Sydney near the coast.... a suburb called "Little Bay"

never forget there's other people out there facing the same issues.... or been there, willing to help.

cheers
 

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I watched my Wife care for her Mother with cancer. Then helped take care of her sister also with cancer. I can tell you this. The physical toll, not to mention the mental toll are exhausting. And not till hospice came in and her aunt came in to spell my wife did I realize Just how tapped out she. During one of these breaks my wife got from either one. She came home for a day or two. She'd be talking to me after having coffee and eating something. And I'd be in mid sentence. and she'd fall asleep. I didn't blame her. It was taxing on her. It wasn't till after both had passed did she and I realize just how much a price she'd paid. She needed some therapy herself. She wasn't right for awhile. I think it's something you need .Just to get you mind right.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
cws:

My good friend lives a few blocks from Dee Why Beach. I would love to visit Sydney one day.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
James you are so right...

I read where life expectancy of caregivers may be reduced 8-10 years. Yikes!

Numerous times I felt as if I was going to die before morning. Almost could not get through those times. But the love of my life needed me and still does. It is true she does not need a patient to take care of her, she needs me. A whole person. I hope I can find "me".

Thank you all for your encouragement!
 

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cws:
My good friend lives a few blocks from Dee Why Beach. I would love to visit Sydney one day.
Northside (of the harbour).. I'm southside near the airport. We don't talk to them thar northerners.... :histerica

It's a long bloody flight down here... but well worth the visit. :D
 

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I feel your pain. My wife and I cared for my mother for the last 3 years of her life. It was a 24/7 kind of deal. I am so grateful we were able to do this, but did not realize how much it required until it was over. I like you rode HD, had an Ultra Classic that I wrecked (car ran me off the road) several years ago. Did not ride for a little over a year, decided I was getting too old for this. I am now 67 and I bought a one owner 2002 LT with only 10K miles on it in Oct 13. A year later I have 23K on it and am loving it. Sometimes life gives us a kick in the butt and we have to get up and get on with out life. I wish you the very best and hope you do get a motorcycle and ride. Heck I live in SC about 50 miles SE of Charlotte NC, give me a call and we could meet half way for a cup of coffee or whatever. Good luck in you decision and remember this forum is always open.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Sounds great! Halfway is a warm up!
Getting colder so coffee suits me quite well. Thanks!
 

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I have to second looking for some help in the form of home care to assist you with care and give you a break. A good place to start is with her Dr. with a Rx. for Home Care Evaluation and your local hospital's social worker should be able to look into your situation. I hope you can get on a bike ASAP. Good luck.
 

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Care-giving is some thing you will never forget. However, for a loved one, is also something you will never regret. For most the decision NOT to be the one to give care is a decision they forever regret.

There is old saying "I would move a mountain to be with the one I love."
Care-giving just means you will carry that mountain.
 
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