The fine print,
No warrantee, including fitness for a particular purpose or usefulness of information, express or implied. This product not tested on animals, as college students are cheaper and nobody cares what you do to them, Professional driver, closed course. Clean your room. Serving suggestion. Stay in skool. Be secure in the knowledge that we're all part of a plan, but be thankful that you're ignorant of its cruel, bloody particulars. Do not apply to broken skin; if condition persists consult a physician. Refrigerate after opening. Not for internal use. Void where prohibited. Don’t mess around with Jim. Objects in mirror may be 2 dimensional. Must be 18 to play. Credo Quia Absurdum. Trespassers will be violated. Albatross! Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been. Call your mother, she worries. If erection lasts more than 4 hours, seek immediate medical attention or bikini photos of Rosie and Oprah. Do not taunt happy fun ball. Do not look into laser beam with remaining eye. Beer, of course, is actually a depressant, but poor people will never stop hoping otherwise.
Don't thank me; I'm doing this for your own good.
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