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Discussion Starter #1
The police came to my door last night holding a picture of my wife.
"Is this your wife sir?" said the officer.
"Yes it is" I replied.
"I'm afraid it looks like she's been in a car accident" said the
Officer...
"I know" I said, "but she has a lovely personality!"
. . . . . . .. . . . . ..

My wife told me last night that she is fed up with me pushing her around
and talking behind her back ... She's in a wheel chair for goodness sake!!
. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Woke up this morning a bit late, about 8:15 ish. Called down to the wife
and got no answer. Got up and went downstairs to the kitchen and there she
was, face down on the floor. Dead!
At that moment I completely lost it, my whole world fell apart, tears
were welling in my eyes............
Then a moment of pure inspiration - McDonalds do Breakfast until 10:30 !
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Met a girl in the park last night and there was an instant spark between
us. She fell at my feet and as I gave her a good seeing to I thought to
myself, these taser guns are well worth the money!'
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What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?
One is a male superhero, the other is an instruction!
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Last night I got so drunk that when I got to the bottom of the stairs, I
took off my shoes, coat, top, trousers and underwear.
Then I crept upstairs very quietly, so as not to wake the kids or my
other half. It was only when I got to the very top I realised I was on a bus .
. . . . . . . . .. . . .

The government has announced that for the new school curriculum, boys are
going to study the workings of the female mind.
The lessons, however, will be changed on an hourly basis
 

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:histerica Thanks, Mike. I needed that!
 
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