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Wish I could claim this is all my own but I have only altered a few bits. If you can think of any improvements please add them - it is only a bit of FUN, that I have printed out and hanging next to my computer.

"Scroll placidly through the two hundred or so posts per day
and remember what peace there may be in using the delete key.
As far as possible, without actually using the sorry word, be on good
terms with all persons.
Speak your bollox quietly and clearly and listen to others,
even the dull and ignorant; given enough rope they can be quite
entertaining.
Cultivate loud and aggressive persons; they respond to even the most
rancid of bait.
If you compare yourself with others you will quickly realise what a lot
of wakners they are, but bear in mind they are thinking the same about
you.
Enjoy your commutes as well as your hoons.
Keep interested in your career, however humble;
in the absence of a private income it is the only way of earning petrol
money. Exercise caution in your farkle purchases,
for the world is full of dodgy advice from sales people.
But let this not blind you to what bargains there are on Ebay.
Many riders strive for quick times at Deals Gap,
but everywhere life is full of disappointed people.
Be yourself. If that is not enough though, it is OK be a froggery with a
sexy boady.
Especially do not feign observance of speed limits; people will only
take the p1ss when you get your performance award.
Neither be dismissive about the HD Jihad,
for they have three weapons, although they can't ever agree on what they
are.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, after all, some of us have been
around a few corners and you'll be old and daft yourself one day.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune, such as
the usual suspects calling round and emptying your fridge.
But do not distress yourself with imaginings, after all they don't often
ride very far.
Many late night posts are born of tiredness and emotion.
Beyond a wholesome discipline be gentle with yourself. It is a good idea
to stop once you need glasses, though.
You are a child of the universe no less than the scrotes and the Soccer Mum
drivers.
You have a right to be here, and you may shortly get an identity card to
prove it.
And whether it is clear to you or not,
some of what is said on this list makes some sort of sense.
Therefore be at peace with God.
Whatever your labours and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life.
With all its rain and SMIDSYs and broken cables
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. Save your money for CCR.
DFC."
 
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