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An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the local, 'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Kiwi (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Kiwi: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.'

Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Kiwi: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f****n liar!
 

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Hey, he's back!
Thanks!!
 

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We missed ya Mike!!!
 

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sheldan2 said:
An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the local, 'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Kiwi (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Kiwi: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.'

Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Kiwi: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f****n liar!
Very Funny :histerica
Spoken like a true Aussie.
On a similar note:

Three guys driving around New Zealand take a short cut through some gravel roads and farm property.

One American, one Australian and one Kiwi.

Over a rise they come across a sheep with its head stuck in some fencing wire unable to release itself.

The Kiwi who was driving brings the car to a grinding halt and says, dud you see thet poor sheep stuck en the funce?

The American replied first saying, Yeah, I wish that sheep was Cindy Crawford!

The Australian spoke next and said, MMM, I wish that sheep was Elle McPherson!

There was a short silence until the Kiwi spoke and said, I wush et was dark!
 

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Overheard on my boat, it's ba-a-a-d

Do you know why sheep herders always wear long robes?

sheep stampede at the sound of a zipper
 

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The new sheep herder joined the two experienced ones in the high meadow, miles from any civilization. After about two weeks, the new guy asked,
"What do you guys do for female companionship when you are up here for months at a time?"
They replied,
"Just pick out a ewe & do it."
That night at the campfire, the old hands excused themselves, & wandered into the flock. That was followed by much commotion from the herd.
The new guy thought what the heck, & followed suit.
When he came back to the campfire, the old hands started to chuckle and point.
The new guy said,"Why are you laughing at me. you did it too?"
The old hands said,"Yeah we did it, but you got the ugly one."
 
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