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Discussion Starter #1
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends
$5,000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before
leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but
how old do you think I am?"

"About 32," is the reply.

"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl
the very same question. The girl replies, "I guess about 29."

The woman replies, "Nope I'm 50." Now she's feeling really good about
herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes
up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning
question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."

Again she proudly responds, "I am 50, but thank you."

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next
to her the same question. He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is
going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old
a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put
my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how
old you are."

They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best
of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around
very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast. He gently
pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them
against each other. After a couple of mi nutes of this, she says, "Okay,
okay...How old am I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and
says. "Madam, you are 50."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you

The old man replies, "promise you won't get mad?" "I promise I won't."
she says.

He replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
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