I Try To Be Neat, Really I Do - BMW Luxury Touring Community
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 11 Old Jul 16th, 2008, 6:26 pm Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
Retread's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Sparks, Nevada, USA
Posts: 198
I Try To Be Neat, Really I Do

I changed the oil in my LT Sunday. I was oh so careful and had drained the oil, removed the old filter and put everything back together with just a couple of very small drops of oil on my garage floor.

I started filling with new oil. I turned around to get a drink of water and when I turned back I managed to kick over an open oil container, spilling about a quarter of it all over the floor. Rats, I was doing so well.

Some day I'll get all the way through an oil change without spilling a drop. It's not a big dream, but it's my dream.

"Don't do anything you'd be embarrassed to explain to the paramedics."

Gary Helmers
Sparks, NV
2002 K1200LT
2003 XR250R
Retread is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 11 Old Jul 16th, 2008, 6:36 pm
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 14,434
Re: I Try To Be Neat, Really I Do

Quote:
Originally Posted by Retread
I changed the oil in my LT Sunday. I was oh so careful and had drained the oil, removed the old filter and put everything back together with just a couple of very small drops of oil on my garage floor.

I started filling with new oil. I turned around to get a drink of water and when I turned back I managed to kick over an open oil container, spilling about a quarter of it all over the floor. Rats, I was doing so well.

Some day I'll get all the way through an oil change without spilling a drop. It's not a big dream, but it's my dream.
BTDT - small aid: next time you're in Wal-Mart, stroll down the canine aisle and pick up a 24 ct package of puppy training pads. One of those under the bike, and another nearby to place open containers on - if you spill anythang, just fold up the pad and toss in the can. No mess during, or afterwards.

Another tip - a pair of Nitrile gloves keeps the paws clean while changing fluids. They're better'n latex gloves; are pre-powdered; and have better tactile feel for bolts and nuts and stuff (gawd, outta the gutter Steve!! ).
Dick is offline  
post #3 of 11 Old Jul 16th, 2008, 7:08 pm
Senior Member
 
DanDiver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Tampa, FL, USA
Posts: 4,829
Re: I Try To Be Neat, Really I Do

THIS SHOULD PROBABLY BE IN THE HUMOR SECTION, (might already be there)BUT IT SEEMS APPROPRIATE AS A RESPONSE:
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oil Change instructions for Women :

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.

2) Drink a cup of coffee.

3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Money spent:

Oil Change: $20.00
Coffee: $ 1.00
Total: $21.00



Oil Change instructions for Men:

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00.

2) Stop by 7/11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.

3) Open a beer and drink it.

4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7) Place drain pan under engine.

8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

9) Give up and use crescent wrench.

10) Unscrew drain plug.

11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.

12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.

13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.

14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.

15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.

16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.

17) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.

18) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

19) Remember drain plug from step 11.

20) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

21) Drink beer.

22) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.

23) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.

24) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.

25) Begin cussing fit.

26) Throw stupid crescent wrench.

27) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.

28) Beer.

29) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.

30) Beer.

31) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.

32) Beer.

33) Lower car from jack stands.

34) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.

35) Beer.

36) Test drive car.

37) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.

38) Car gets impounded.

39) Call loving wife, make bail.

40) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

Money spent:
Parts: $ 50.00
DUI: $2500.00
Impound fee : $ 75.00
Bail: $1500.00
Beer: $20.00
Total: $4,145.00

But you know the job was done right!

Dano
Tampa, Fl.

12 K1600 GTL
02 K1200 LT (gone but not forgotten)
DanDiver is offline  
 
post #4 of 11 Old Jul 16th, 2008, 7:25 pm
Old Slow Guy in A Fast Car
 
katnapinn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Kyle, Texas, USA
Posts: 8,597
Re: I Try To Be Neat, Really I Do

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dick
BTDT - small aid: next time you're in Wal-Mart, stroll down the canine aisle and pick up a 24 ct package of puppy training pads. One of those under the bike, and another nearby to place open containers on - if you spill anythang, just fold up the pad and toss in the can. No mess during, or afterwards.

Another tip - a pair of Nitrile gloves keeps the paws clean while changing fluids. They're better'n latex gloves; are pre-powdered; and have better tactile feel for bolts and nuts and stuff (gawd, outta the gutter Steve!! ).
HEY !!!!! what did I do??????

Stevie Shreeve
katnapinn is offline  
post #5 of 11 Old Jul 16th, 2008, 8:15 pm
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Perry, MI, USA
Posts: 4
Re: I Try To Be Neat, Really I Do

I have to say Dan that was damn funny.

08 K1200LT Biarritz Blue Metallic
st8bull is offline  
post #6 of 11 Old Jul 16th, 2008, 9:23 pm
Senior Member
 
ibbones's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Victoria, TX, USA
Posts: 3,327
Re: I Try To Be Neat, Really I Do

Quote:
Originally Posted by katnapinn
HEY !!!!! what did I do??????
He must know you.

"BONES" <///><
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

2002 K1200LTC--- Belle

"My wife and I have an understanding. I won't try to run her life and I won't try to run mine."
ibbones is offline  
post #7 of 11 Old Jul 16th, 2008, 10:57 pm
Senior Member
 
dukey33's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Seabrook, TX, USA
Posts: 685
Re: I Try To Be Neat, Really I Do

I had a very similar experience when I did the oil change on my LT too.

Managed not to spill any old oil even though I chose to drain through the cover plate and not use the drain plug (as recommended by many).

That went just fine. But when pouring the fresh oil in, the funnel didn't stay in the oil port so some oil dribbled down the side of the engine and inside the tupperware too.

I haven't made such a mess in 25 years of oil changes.

Hopefully, the next one will go better.

Dave
-2000 K1200LT
-------------------------------
Life's too short to ride ugly motorcycles
dukey33 is offline  
post #8 of 11 Old Jul 16th, 2008, 11:13 pm
Senior Member
 
joevano's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Zimmerman, MN
Posts: 376
Re: I Try To Be Neat, Really I Do

I drained the oil out of my car once, went to get the new oil from trunk and realized it was in the wife's car. I had to pour the dirty oil back in to drive to store and buy more oil!

Joe Van Orsdol
Zimmerman Mn
'02 K1200LT
'94 K75S for sale
'11 DR650 Alaska Bike
'13 KTM 250XCW
joevano is offline  
post #9 of 11 Old Jul 16th, 2008, 11:47 pm
Senior Member
 
Florian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: North Coast, OH , USA
Posts: 1,165
Re: I Try To Be Neat, Really I Do

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dick
BTDT - small aid: next time you're in Wal-Mart, stroll down the canine aisle and pick up a 24 ct package of puppy training pads. One of those under the bike, and another nearby to place open containers on - if you spill anythang, just fold up the pad and toss in the can. No mess during, or afterwards.

Another tip - a pair of Nitrile gloves keeps the paws clean while changing fluids. They're better'n latex gloves; are pre-powdered; and have better tactile feel for bolts and nuts and stuff (gawd, outta the gutter Steve!! ).

Agree on both points....saves your cement and your sanity.


F

BMWMOA
12 GTL
Florian is offline  
post #10 of 11 Old Jul 17th, 2008, 4:11 am
THE Democracy Doctor
 
jayjacobson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: We LOVE illegals and Socialists, Sunny, Southern Kommyfornia,
Posts: 5,694
I Try To Be Neat, Really I Do

Quote:
Originally Posted by dandiver
....DUI:$2500.00 Impound fee: $ 75.00....
WTF?! DUI ONLY $2,500?! Impound ONLY $75.00?!

....Brag to friends about how cheap your oil change was!

"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Some really OLD friggin' White dude who couldn't have possibly known what he was talking about!) WARNING: Official HATE speech!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
jayjacobson is offline  
post #11 of 11 Old Jul 17th, 2008, 5:41 pm Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
Retread's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Sparks, Nevada, USA
Posts: 198
Re: I Try To Be Neat, Really I Do

Great advice. I like the idea of the doggie pads. So many great ideas on this site.

Super story, I just forwarded it to several friends. Needed a laugh today. Thanks.

"Don't do anything you'd be embarrassed to explain to the paramedics."

Gary Helmers
Sparks, NV
2002 K1200LT
2003 XR250R
Retread is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the BMW Luxury Touring Community forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in











Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Farkle Wires Lare K1200LT 14 Oct 31st, 2007 11:13 am
Broken Part In Trunk Retread K1200LT 6 Oct 18th, 2007 10:09 pm
NEAT! View your home dshealey Chit Chat 23 Nov 13th, 2006 3:57 pm
Dig this neat leetle protection device grifscoots Radar Detector 1 Oct 22nd, 2006 10:18 pm

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome