Don't fool with Mother Nature
Toward the end of the golf course, Dave somehow managed to hit his ball into the woods, finding it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.
All of a sudden ... POOF! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. "I'm Mother Nature!" she exclaimed. "Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups?
"Just for that, you won't have any butter for your popcorn the rest of your life; better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life ... as a matter of fact, you won't have any butter for anything the rest of your life!"
Then ... POOF! ... she was gone.
After Dave got ahold of himself, he hollered for his friend Fred. "Fred, where are you?"
Fred yells back, "I'm over here, in the pussy willows."
Dave yells back ... "DON'T SWING FRED!!! For God's sake, DON'T SWING!!"
US Army (Ret)
I don't like making plans for the day....because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.