Great loss.. - BMW Luxury Touring Community
 
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post #1 of 21 Old May 28th, 2012, 11:10 am Thread Starter
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Great loss..

While riding with a good friend Saturday morning, I watched as he was struck by a car that was side swiped by another that failed to yield at a stop sign. He was dead by the time I got off my bike and ran to him. I was able to sit with him till the paramedics got there, but there was nothing to be done.

I'm in so much pain from the loss of a dear friend and can't imagine ever riding again which also hurts. I've loved motorcycling for so long and its such a big part of my life.

Have any of you been thru something similar and been able to continue riding?

Dave

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post #2 of 21 Old May 28th, 2012, 11:29 am
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Re: Great loss..

So very sorrry for your loss. Our prayers for you.
Mike and Gretchen.

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post #3 of 21 Old May 28th, 2012, 11:35 am
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Re: Great loss..

Sorry for your loss We will pray for you & your good friends Family in this time of pain. In time you will start to remember all the good time you have had with your good friend & this tragic memory will lessen it's grip on your heart.

Stevie Shreeve
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post #4 of 21 Old May 28th, 2012, 1:52 pm
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Re: Great loss..

Quote:
Originally Posted by dkjkwood
While riding with a good friend Saturday morning, I watched as he was struck by a car that was side swiped by another that failed to yield at a stop sign. He was dead by the time I got off my bike and ran to him. I was able to sit with him till the paramedics got there, but there was nothing to be done.

I'm in so much pain from the loss of a dear friend and can't imagine ever riding again which also hurts. I've loved motorcycling for so long and its such a big part of my life.

Have any of you been thru something similar and been able to continue riding?
Dave, I am so sorry for your loss. Loosing a friend is tragic and only time will get you to where you will forget the pain and remember all of the good times you have shared. Mourning is a part of the process and it cannot be rushed.

I haven't experienced what you did on a motorcycle, but unfortunately I do experience it occasionally in another high speed activity. It is never easy and I too have wondered if it was worth the price to continue. There is nothing wrong with walking away and giving it a rest. You will know when it's time to come back. It's nothing that needs to be rushed.

Most of us don't have to ride, we do it because of the positive feeling it gives us. That feeling will come back.

Dano
Tampa, Fl.

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post #5 of 21 Old May 28th, 2012, 2:34 pm
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Re: Great loss..

Dan: All of us here at the Community mourn with you and your friend's family. I lost a friend who was a very experienced horseman when his horse spooked on a trail ride and landed on him with the saddle horn in his chest. His wife told us that Greg would want us to honor him by making the same ride each year in his honor. We still make the ride in his memory every year. What would your friend want you to do?

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post #6 of 21 Old May 28th, 2012, 2:43 pm
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Re: Great loss..

Dave,

I can only imagine the pain you have right now, to lose a close friend is hard and to watch him taken in this way in front of you I'm sure intensifies the loss and pain beyond what most of us can truly relate to. Be patient with yourself and let yourself mourn the loss, you can come back to the bike when your ready, no rush. There was a reason you and your friend liked to ride and as time moves on and the pain starts to fade you will be able to see that reason again and possibly reclaim the joy you both shared riding.

You're in our thoughts..

-Preston
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post #7 of 21 Old May 28th, 2012, 2:54 pm
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Re: Great loss..

Dave. So sorry for what you must be going through. Nobody but you can decide if you want to ride again.
Thoughts though: did your friend really enjoy riding? If so, could you "ride for him"?

A while back I got myself all worked up over the death of two young soldiers, from my area, killed in Iraq. I went down to a local graphics shop and had two "stickers" (don't know what the correct terminology would be) that said "Never Forget...followed by their names, rank and branch of service". Stuck them on the side plates of my Harley Sportster. Maybe you could do something like that for your friend.
I do believe we should NEVER forget. Always remember fondly.
Best to you.
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post #8 of 21 Old May 28th, 2012, 3:22 pm
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Re: Great loss..

I am so sorry to hear about this. What a terrible thing to witness.

A similar thing happened to my brother, while riding snowmobiles with his brother in law (his wife's brother) and his father in law, his brother in law went off the trail and into a tree. He had to witness a good friend, and brother in law die, and witness a father lose his son. I can't imagine what that would be like.

He said that he'd never ride again. Time passed, wounds healed, and eventually he got back on the sled. His brother in law would have never wanted my brother to stop riding forever.

I think what you are feeling is normal, give it some time, time helps a lot.

David Hogerheide

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post #9 of 21 Old May 28th, 2012, 8:56 pm
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Wink Re: Great loss..

Quote:
Originally Posted by dkjkwood
While riding with a good friend Saturday morning, I watched as he was struck by a car that was side swiped by another that failed to yield at a stop sign. He was dead by the time I got off my bike and ran to him. I was able to sit with him till the paramedics got there, but there was nothing to be done.

I'm in so much pain from the loss of a dear friend and can't imagine ever riding again which also hurts. I've loved motorcycling for so long and its such a big part of my life.

Have any of you been thru something similar and been able to continue riding?
Dave, I know you don't know me, and really I don't know you but I did want to give you my sincere simpathy. When we loose someone close, we loose a part of us. If we try to Forget, Hide or Ignore it, we only lie to ourselves. It is heathy and to our best to Remember the loved one. Not the bad thing but the Good. We cannot make the mind forget all those bad experiences. We think we are making progress only to remember a fact, then get very angry at ourselves. Coming back from the war is like these experiences we encounter. Don't ever try to Forget him but remember the Good, keep moving forward in life and He would be proud also. I will be praying for your health in this matter.
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post #10 of 21 Old May 28th, 2012, 9:33 pm
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Re: Great loss..

Dave,

We are all so sorry to hear this tragic news. I can only offer my sympathy to you, your family, and your friend's family.

Howard Schisler
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post #11 of 21 Old May 28th, 2012, 11:23 pm
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Re: Great loss..

Dan, let me add to all your brothers here on this forum and express my greatest sympathy to you and your friends family. For you to have been an eyewitness to this event makes it even more painful. The doubt you are feeling ia a very normal reaction to a very abnormal event. Take time to grieve for your friend and gather yourself. We will be here always.

Wade
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post #12 of 21 Old May 29th, 2012, 8:56 am
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Re: Great loss..

Sorry for the loss of your friend and also sorry that it happened in front of you. Like others have said, time.
Prayers for you and your friends family.

"BONES" <///><
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post #13 of 21 Old May 29th, 2012, 9:04 am
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Re: Great loss..

I can't imagine what you're going thru.. Several of our members here have had similar experiences....

The South Central gang when we lost Jeff..... It's just too sad to bear...

Time will hopefully help.. But that's all...

Our sincere sympathy goes out to you and your friend's family...

John

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post #14 of 21 Old May 29th, 2012, 9:44 am
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Re: Great loss..

I lost a good friend about 5 years ago. I wasn't riding with him at the time, he was on his way to work. It affected his wife & son in two completely different ways. She sold her bike, he organized a tribute ride. Go with how you feel. You'll know when it's time to get back on the bike. Give yourself time to grieve in whatever way works best for you. Thoughts & prayers for you and your friend's family. I'm very sorry for your loss.

Benny C. (Central Texas)
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post #15 of 21 Old May 29th, 2012, 2:06 pm
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Re: Great loss..

Here's a thought:
Suppose the roles were reversed. Suppose it was you that was killed. Then suppose you had an opportunity to leave your surviving friend a message. What would you say to him?
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post #16 of 21 Old May 29th, 2012, 2:41 pm
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Re: Great loss..

Some time ago a friend of mine lost his 21 year old brother. He went out and bought himself a new bike in time for the funeral. He still rides when he can .
Your friend died doing something that he loved. That can't be said of many people. Give it time.


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post #17 of 21 Old May 29th, 2012, 5:44 pm
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Re: Great loss..

So sorry for your loss Dave! Remember the rides you did together and the good times you shared...
Only time will heal and your pain will fade a little,,,

Gilles & Kathy
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post #18 of 21 Old May 30th, 2012, 8:49 pm
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Re: Great loss..

Dave - Have not had your experience, and our hearts and prayers are on the way. I also have not had the extreme honor to stay with (and protect) a friend until the medics arrived. I offer there WAS something to be done; you did it. Bless you!

Jim Taylor
Minneapolis
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post #19 of 21 Old May 30th, 2012, 9:07 pm
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Re: Great loss..

Dave. May God bless and comfort you and your friend's family in a way only he can. These things are never easy and they take time top heal. Keep the good memories that you have. Take a rest for a while from your riding. You will know when the time is right to ride again.

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post #20 of 21 Old May 31st, 2012, 9:01 am
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Re: Great loss..

Sorry for your loss. No words will abate or aussage your pain. What helped me was the knowledge that I was honored to know my friend and also that he didn't die alone, that I was by his side. The reality of "there but for the Grace of God go I" s inks in slowly. Time can heal but true friends and those who are still here must never forget the person and honor their memory even when it is difficult. He was lucky to have you as such a good friend. I hope you get to see him again someday.

...............
J.M.J...
Dcn Channing

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post #21 of 21 Old Jun 12th, 2012, 11:02 am
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Re: Great loss..

I'm sorry for your loss.
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