Originally Posted by fenixroyale
We caught an On-Star commercial last night.
So now your car sits in the garage, runs self-diagnostics, and sends you an email.
God, what's the world comin' to?
ROXANNE: Our car would bombard us with spam every night saying, "Check Engine."
Reading this leads me to nodding my head and thanking someone, somewhere for granting me the pleasure of owning an original non-thinking, non-self diagnosticating, non-techie cage, circa '67. A one-owner Goat that can talk volumes if I just listen. Has a never-been-seen idiot light somewhere on the dash for when the old mill gitz sizzling; a dial gauge for the level of gas tank content and another for oil pressure; an indicator dial for battery performance; and a beeg ole round dial for speedo data.
Not one digital bit of scrollable text (we see analog gauges) 'cept for that *check engine soon
* message thats 270,000 miles old; not one rocker switch to toggle a soft or sport suspension mode (we're somewhere in between); not one On-Star or Tele-Aid button to push (we use a beltphone, or a thumb); not one talking GPS screen (we ax directions!!); not one miles-to-go readout 'til next service (we have a calendar); not one engine oil level readout (we use a dipstick); not one heated or airconditioned seat with lumbar bolsters (we use a mesh seat cushion); not one push-button rear view mirror positioner (we get help from the passenger); not one ride level button to push to raise the car while traversing parking lot speed bumps (we make sparks); not one auto door lock at speed (well duh - we ain't gonna try opening the doors at speed, are we??!!); not one lock/unlock/start/stop/panic mode electronic fob (we use a replica key from Ace Hardware); not one push-button window regulator (we crank); not one open-seatbelt buzzer (we're trained); not one leetle black dome thangie in the headliner, hiding a microphone (we do karaoke tho); not one air-conditioned trunk or console glove box (we don't live in there); not one cupholder (we got two hands); not one combo mirror/garage door opener (we carry extra opener); not one automatic daytime running light setting (we're trained); not one tethered gas cap (we leave ours on the pump now and then 'til the next visit --- who's gonna want it?); not one hidden lever, under the dash inside the cage, to raise the hood (we walk up to it and give it a good thump); not one automatic rain sensor to enable the wipers (we're trained!) ---- and many more examples of the haves/have nots!!
Cheryl just got a Xmas present that has all those digital/electronic/self-diagnostic/banner scrolling/talking/sensing/date-time displaying/obsolete in three years, rolling cages. I have thankfully found that you don't have to run thru the pre-flight checklist if you're just going the two blocks for a gas fillup. I am, however, paranoid that I'll accidentally push the hidden auto-pilot toggle and wind up at Mercedes NA and be greeted by a J.D. Powers rep!!!
Thank goodness, ole Goat talks to me in a different language!!