Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Harrison, AR, USA
A Brief Essay
I was on the phone the other day, working with a Yellow Pages representative for the entire State of Arkansas, putting together an advertising project. The rep was a very nice lady -- knowledgeable, courteous, professional, sophisticated, and with a $128,000 project on her plate -- but when I requested all available discounts for our ad program, she had to go "axe" her supervisor.
It was shortly afterwards I wrote my story about "Axe you!"
A friend of mine who read the story commented, "Ted, you sound so angry. I can tell from reading this that you are very angry. Why are you so angry?"
I replied, "Have you forgotten the dozens of other stories I've written? Don't they count for showing what I am? Go back and read them again. I'm just like everybody else. I experience a full spectrum of human feelings in my life. I happen to write about all of them."
In my stories I celebrate the innocence of children, along with the depravity of warm farts in dark caves. I rejoice in rainbows, and I rant about trivialities. I pat dogs on the head, and my wife on the ass. I look at the ground and plant my feet firmly, I look at the sky and count my lucky stars. Everything's there, laid out with confidence and trust, for my friends to share.
That story doesn't point me out as an angry person, any more than the others I've written suggest I want kids crawling in my lap the minute I wake up, or that I want my skies always laced with pretty rainbows.
Cut me some slack. Now I'm really pissed.
The Bad Ted
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