Tired of high oil prices and politics! Have I got a deal for you! - BMW Luxury Touring Community
 
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post #1 of 20 Old May 21st, 2008, 2:05 pm Thread Starter
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Thumbs up Tired of high oil prices and politics! Have I got a deal for you!

I have decided to accept the office of the President of the USA.

All you have to do is WRITE ME IN !!!

No campaign contributions from anyone! This is totally grass roots! And only one term!

***My platform is:***

Day one: Air Force One will be sold! I will ride my GT or my wife can drive me in her car in the weather turns to shit. If I must fly it will be commercial at my expense. Same for the rest of the elected officials!
The wars will be fought by the Generals, that's what they are paid for!

Day two: Oil drilling anywhere, even my back yard. Screw the so called "greenies". So sue me! I'm the President!
Diamond lanes will be motorcycles only. No trucks will be allowed in the fast lane, period. Speed limits will be changed to "reasonable and prudent".

Day three: I will appoint my cabinet. They will be comprised of oil wildcatters, captains of industry, billionaires, whores, rednecks, cowboys and cowgirls. Same for judges! absolutely no whiners and cry babies.

Day four: We will send our old and unneeded nuclear bombs back to the labs and tell the scientists to take a hack saw too them, scrape out the innards, and make it into useable fuel for the nuclear power plants that will be started on day five. Not to worry, we will keep enough bombs just in case!
Coal and oil shale will be dug up and converted into fuel, lots of it! That will get us another 200 years of ridding!

Day five: See day four. Plus we start building oil refineries, even in my own backyard. No regional fuels. Smog laws are tight enough.
We will build wind turbines where the wind blows. Here! Solar panels where the sun shines. Almost every where, get it!

Day six: Corn will only be used for eating or making into booze! All taxes on gas and booze will go to building roads (the twister the better!) and railroads.
A chicken in every pot and steak on every plate, if you work for it and pay for it. No handouts!

Day seven: REST, go for a ride, whatever.

Day eight: And what ever else need to be done to get this great country back in business!

Norris "il Presidente" Cooper
Andover Kansas USA
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post #2 of 20 Old May 21st, 2008, 2:28 pm
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Thumbs up Re: Tired of high oil prices and politics! Have I got a deal for you!

So far you got my vote!

Gilles & Kathy
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For her I swam across the deepest ocean!
For her I walked through the largest desert!
And then she left me... She said I was never home!!!


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post #3 of 20 Old May 21st, 2008, 3:11 pm
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Re: Tired of high oil prices and politics! Have I got a deal for you!

You forgot the simple 10% flat income tax on every dollar you make over $20K. That way, really poor people don't have to pay taxes. If you just don't feel like paying taxes, just make $20K or less.

The IRS could be disbanded as the 1040DA form ("DA" as in even a dumbass can do his taxes) brings complete simplicity to the process.

1. How much did you make?
2. Subtract $20000 from Line 1
3. Move the decimal place on what's left one to the left (you know, <--- that way):
4. How much did you have withheld?
5. If line 3 is bigger than line 4, then line 3 - line 4 = what you owe
6. If line 4 is bigger than line 3, then line 4 - line 3 = your refund

Example 1. If you make $50,000, your taxes would be ($50,000 - $20,000) * 10% = $3,000

Example 2. If you make $120,000, your taxes would be ($120,000 - $20,000) * 10% = $10,000

The form would come printed on a pre-paid postage on a simple postcard.

Given no loopholes, deductions for used underware, or any other ways out of paying taxes, there'd be no cheating and no need for the bloated IRS. All those IRS audit agents could then be transferred to the medicare system to ferret out all those fraud cases. BTW, there have been several studies that show that more tax revenue would be generated with a 6.5% flat tax than the current progressive (or is that regressive) system that caps out at 36%.

Oh, and corporate taxes would be a flat 20%. No deductions, No corporate welfare. However, companies that go 100% green, or produce supergreen products would only have to pay a flat 10%. And car companies that produce affordable hydrogen fuel cell cars and provide free in-home solar powered hydrogen cracking stations don't have to pay taxes at all.

And a national lottery system would be put in place with every penny of the proceeds going directly to pay for 100% college tuition to any kid that wants to go to college and maintain a passing grade. Screw Powerball. Let's see the 50 State Billionaire Bonanza! We'll let the state lotteries pay for grade schools.

While we're talking about schools, Teacher Unions would become illegal; however, teachers will immediately double (and someplaces, triple) their salaries, and will be certified and tested to teach, and will teach a curriculum that focuses on educating children, and not teaching them to take a standardized test. Can you read at the appropriate level? Check. Can you do math at the appropriate level? Check. Do you have a basic understanding of sciences, history, geography, etc.? Check. Are you prepared for that free college education paid for by the national lottery system at Michigan State, UCLA, Harvard, etc. based on your academic achievement? Check. Teachers who fail our children will have to become permanent assistants on the reality show, Dirty Jobs.


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post #4 of 20 Old May 21st, 2008, 3:38 pm
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Re: Tired of high oil prices and politics! Have I got a deal for you!

You guys... hahaha....

be careful... "they" are watching and taking copious notes. Start making sense like this and who knows where it can lead.... instead of the Boston Tea Party.. we can.....

...............
J.M.J...
Dcn Channing

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post #5 of 20 Old May 21st, 2008, 3:53 pm
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Re: Tired of high oil prices and politics! Have I got a deal for you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by cfell
You guys... hahaha....

be careful... "they" are watching and taking copious notes. Start making sense like this and who knows where it can lead.... instead of the Boston Tea Party.. we can.....
Oh man, now you've done it. Revolutions are noble endeavors in history, but only terrorists do it today!

When a government takes over a people’s economic life it becomes absolute, and when it has become absolute it destroys the arts, the minds, the liberties and the meaning of the people it governs.
- Maxwell Anderson

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post #6 of 20 Old May 21st, 2008, 4:40 pm
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Re: Tired of high oil prices and politics! Have I got a deal for you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobnoxous
Oh man, now you've done it. Revolutions are noble endeavors in history, but only terrorists do it today!
Ok, Bob, I'll be the "point man".. you guys do a flanking manuever.. execute with extreme predjudice...

Ooops, Norris beat me to it... well, ok, I've got his back...

Ya gotta wonder, what could we really do if we REALLY got motivated, huh?

Ok, back to riding motorcycles.

...............
J.M.J...
Dcn Channing

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post #7 of 20 Old May 21st, 2008, 5:21 pm
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Re: Tired of high oil prices and politics! Have I got a deal for you!

Can I be your secretary of state? One of my qualifications is that I sound a lot like Henry Kissinger

Day one: Dealing with with one of the worlds oil rich superpowers: Norway

We ship them used K1200lt's in exchange for their oil. Paaloo will be in charge of the program. This will keep him too busy to post his religious and political views on motorcycle boards.

Day two: We make english the language of the rest of the world, since we failed to make it our national language. That way future immigrants will speak english and the percentage of english-speakers in this country will increase again since we have also failed to control immigration.

Day three: We find a native American to become the Immigration Czar. They know a thing or two about what happens to you when you do not control immigration.

There is more, but this should be enough to get us elected. And that is what it is all about, getting elected.

Wolfgang

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post #8 of 20 Old May 21st, 2008, 8:11 pm
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Re: Tired of high oil prices and politics! Have I got a deal for you!

Any volunteers for Secretary of Defence?

Gail
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post #9 of 20 Old May 21st, 2008, 8:29 pm
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Re: Tired of high oil prices and politics! Have I got a deal for you!

Ok , I'll be secretary of De-fence you just gotta tell me where this fence is.
By the way I don't work evening and weekends (weather permitting).

The beatings will continue untill morale improves.
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post #10 of 20 Old May 21st, 2008, 8:31 pm
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Re: Tired of high oil prices and politics! Have I got a deal for you!

Norris:

You and El Jeffe run as a team and you'll have my vote.

Was going to offer my services as Sec Of Def with the qualifications of having served 21 years of active duty in the Marine Corps but looks like MotoGirl got in line ahead of me.
I'll do Sec of Navy, head of CIA, FBI director, anything that pays well without having to do much actual work.

B D R
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post #11 of 20 Old May 21st, 2008, 9:00 pm Thread Starter
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Cool Re: Tired of high oil prices and politics! Have I got a deal for you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by MotoGirl
Any volunteers for Secretary of Defence?
You got it Madame MotoGirl.
If you can defend us the job is yours!

Norris

Last edited by norriscooper; May 21st, 2008 at 9:21 pm.
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post #12 of 20 Old May 21st, 2008, 9:11 pm Thread Starter
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Thumbs up I have a better job for you.

[QUOTE=Wolfgang]Can I be your secretary of state? One of my qualifications is that I sound a lot like Henry Kissinger

Not yet, I have a better job for you.

Day one: Ambassador to Norway.

Day two: Shut down the Embassy.

Day three: You are the first Govenor to the new state of South Texas, aka Mexico. President Polk should have never given it back to them!

Norris
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post #13 of 20 Old May 21st, 2008, 9:30 pm Thread Starter
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Thumbs up Thank you Gunny

Quote:
Originally Posted by gunny
Norris:

You and El Jeffe run as a team and you'll have my vote.

Was going to offer my services as Sec Of Def with the qualifications of having served 21 years of active duty in the Marine Corps but looks like MotoGirl got in line ahead of me.
I'll do Sec of Navy, head of CIA, FBI director, anything that pays well without having to do much actual work.
Gunny,
Thank you for your service to our country!!!
You may have any job you want!


As far as my team, El Jeffe has the correct ideas but I might stick with our current V.P., remember he shot an attorney.
How many votes did I lose with that one? Might have gained some too!

Norris
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post #14 of 20 Old May 22nd, 2008, 5:49 am
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Re: Thank you Gunny

Me and Gilles will be your campaign managers!

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post #15 of 20 Old May 22nd, 2008, 5:58 am
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Re: Tired of high oil prices and politics! Have I got a deal for you!

Duuuude...Is, like, the Drug Czar job open?

Dave Hoogerland

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post #16 of 20 Old May 22nd, 2008, 9:24 am
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Re: Tired of high oil prices and politics! Have I got a deal for you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveDragon
Compulsive Military Service for 2 years or Min 2 years Peace Corps Service.
I 2nd this motion. Motion passed!
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post #17 of 20 Old May 22nd, 2008, 10:43 am
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Re: Tired of high oil prices and politics! Have I got a deal for you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveDragon
Compulsive Military Service for 2 years or Min 2 years Peace Corps Service.
Why not. Slavery isn't all bad.

When a government takes over a people’s economic life it becomes absolute, and when it has become absolute it destroys the arts, the minds, the liberties and the meaning of the people it governs.
- Maxwell Anderson

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post #18 of 20 Old May 22nd, 2008, 11:15 am
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Talking Re: Thank you Gunny

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkpr1998
Me and Gilles will be your campaign managers!
Will I have to move to DC??? IIRC there is no lane splitting there.
A big consideration when choosing a place to live!

Gilles & Kathy
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2012 BMW X3 (parts and people hauler)
86 Porsche 911 Cabriolet (my "new" baby)



For her I climbed the highest mountain!
For her I swam across the deepest ocean!
For her I walked through the largest desert!
And then she left me... She said I was never home!!!


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post #19 of 20 Old May 25th, 2008, 7:31 am
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Re: Thank you Gunny

Quote:
Originally Posted by zippy_gg
Will I have to move to DC??? IIRC there is no lane splitting there.
No problem, Gilles. You can be Secretary of Transportation. Problem solved.

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Some people see the gas tank as half empty. Some see it as half full. All I care is that I know where the next tankful is coming from...
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post #20 of 20 Old May 25th, 2008, 10:13 am
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Re: Tired of high oil prices and politics! Have I got a deal for you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by hoog62
Duuuude...Is, like, the Drug Czar job open?
O.K. If know one else will appoint you Drug Czar I will. Will some explain to Dave, what exactly that job is and it's duties? I have know idea!!!

Gail
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