Senile, in a bar, having a beer, talking to no one - BMW Luxury Touring Community
 
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post #1 of 19 Old Sep 7th, 2007, 11:27 am Thread Starter
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Wink Senile, in a bar, having a beer, talking to no one

Who am I describing? No, it's not anyone from the forum. It was and old lady I ran into last night while watching the football game at BJs Pizza. I was watching the game, having some eats and drinks, and doing a little studying during commercials. Toward the end of the evening, this lady, about 70 maybe, sits down at a table nearby. When I went to the bathroom, she flagged me over. It becomes clear pretty quickly that she's not all there. She's talking to me about chemistry, and female douches (I think she used to work for a company that made these, maybe in the chemistry dept.), debris in the parking lot, on and on. I cannot follow her conversation. She's hard to understand and all over the map.

It's sad, but she's probably enjoying her final years better than most older people. She's in BJs, having a beer, and getting out. But, she is a bit of a disturbance. Later, she came up to me and started talking. The manager asked me if she was being a problem, and I said no. It was really kind of interesting how I could ask her questions and get her to focus, momentarily. But, the staff didn't like her bothering me or anyone else, and told her she needed to move back to her table and leave people alone.

I thought the staff was a bit callous, but they've dealt with her several times before. I can see how you get hardened to such things. You're kind and considerate the first few times, but after a while, it's just more of the same and you get tired of it. I think this happens in most jobs where people are coming into contact with "lesser people", whatever form of lesser that takes. It probably cannot be helped.

As I left, I asked her if she was okay, and had a way home. She said she was, and she did. Another moment of clarity. I told her to take care of herself, and be careful, and she gave me a smile. Maybe I made her a day a little more enjoyable.

Some day, that could be me. If I had to choose, I'd rather be senile, in a bar, having a beer, yacking away, then bed-ridden in some nursing home. Some might say I've already been there.

So, be nice to such people, no matter how many times they bug you. Someday, it could be me.

When a government takes over a people’s economic life it becomes absolute, and when it has become absolute it destroys the arts, the minds, the liberties and the meaning of the people it governs.
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post #2 of 19 Old Sep 7th, 2007, 1:17 pm
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DDUUUDDEEE!!! Thanks, I've been looking for mom for years now!!

I hate getting old...mostly the pain everywhere, I pretend it's not there

I never treat anyone like crap, ain't my style and doesn't make me feel good, no matter who they are...well, with some exceptions of course (robbers, etc).

Having played in a bar band for about a decade, I've seen a lot of this..and it made me even more focused on providing a good product just to make their dayz a little nicer.

Although I was having 2nd thoughts when a similar type person (much much younger though) pinched my arse when I was leaning on a rail during break!!

I told her "go ahead, boost my ego and see if I care"....I'm not sure that went thru her head but the other folks around were dyin...
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post #3 of 19 Old Sep 7th, 2007, 1:48 pm
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The hell of it is, she probably has some of the BEST stories, if she could only get them out.

I love talking to old folks. It's worth the effort because they really have seen it all and done it all.
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post #4 of 19 Old Sep 7th, 2007, 5:01 pm
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Been researching my family history for a few years, and earlier this year got an email from a lady in Australia. Turned out she is related to my wife. First few e-mails were normal enough, then started getting a little strange, like she had traced a particular line back to 1436 bc, and we were related to some icelandic king. Dropped a line to another relative and found out this old lady had cancer, and had had a portion of her brain removed, and was in a bad way, but had moments of clarity.

I still get the odd mail from her and reply, as I'm told by her nurse it help keep her focused on doing family research, even if it is a little inacurate. better for her to be happy and busy, than alone.

So good on you for taking the time to talk to that old lady.

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post #5 of 19 Old Sep 7th, 2007, 5:15 pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobnoxous
Some day, that could be me. If I had to choose, I'd rather be senile, in a bar, having a beer, yacking away, then bed-ridden in some nursing home.
As the old saying goes - 'Whats the point in stopping smokin and drinkin for another 5 years in an old folks home'.

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post #6 of 19 Old Sep 7th, 2007, 5:26 pm
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There, but for the GRACE of God, go I...

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post #7 of 19 Old Sep 8th, 2007, 8:05 am
 
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I tell people of how and when I want to die, and they almost seem offended. I find it very odd.

On my 72nd birthday, the wife and I will have a little birthday party. You know...some pizza and wings, and other food stuff. My dearest friends will be there. And of course I'll have a little cake, with 72 candles on it. I'll 'make my wish' and say a prayer as I blow them out. Later, I'll say my good-byes as my guests make their way out. The wife and I will pour a glass of red wine, and we'll toast to a wonderful life together. I'll grab my Bible and sit down next to the fireplace. I'll read a few of my favorite verses as I sip on the wine. I'll set the glass down on the hearth, recline and nod off to sleep just after my wife kisses me good night, one last time. And then I plan on NOT waking up. I've lived my life. I've run the race. Fought the good fight. I'm going home.

And that's a whole lot better than being senile, in a bar, and having a beer. Alone.
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post #8 of 19 Old Sep 8th, 2007, 8:28 am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by messenger13
...And that's a whole lot better than being senile, in a bar, and having a beer. Alone.
Beats dying in a house fire too, which is probably just as unlikely. I can't understand why anybody would be offended by that. Why, because you've actually considered the eventuality of passing from this life? That is odd.

As for the senile old lady, does she really know she's alone? Her condition may seem sad or annoying to those around her, but she may be having the time of her life. Meets new friends every day, ya know?

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post #9 of 19 Old Sep 8th, 2007, 9:31 am
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Cool

I told my cardiologist "Everyone wants to go to heaven, but, nobody wants to die to get there"

He just looked at me for a long time after that, then sort of chuckled!

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post #10 of 19 Old Sep 8th, 2007, 9:32 am
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I worked in the public for 22 years. I had to deal with a bunch of folks who "just do not have anyone" and you become family to them. Yes, they can be in the way but they are a wealth of stories. I would see them three to five times a week and one day they would just not show up anymore. I would read their obits. later in the paper. I went to funerals to some of them. I hope that I was not their only friend.

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post #11 of 19 Old Sep 8th, 2007, 10:52 am
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I have a close friend who never really fought through our troubled youths. He continued to do drugs, continued to get in trouble with the law ... continued a very troubled life that we shared for a few years. I grew up and went off to college; he got married, divorced, went to jail for a time, etc. I moved to California and he stayed in the deep south.

Then, a few months ago, I came across his obit. He robbed a convenience store clerk at knifepoint, fleeing with the money. The police found him and started the pursuit. He floored the accelerator of his Chevrolet, and headed down to the riverfront, where a large concrete seawall protected the town from the river. They estimate he impacted at 50 mph. There were no skid marks.

It left a mark on me that remains to this day.

I don't know what it would take to make me want to end it all, and I hope I never find out. I plan to go out kicking and screaming ... even if it means drooling on some kind stranger's french fries in a honky tonk.

But that's just me.
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post #12 of 19 Old Sep 8th, 2007, 1:04 pm
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I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa did, not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus.
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post #13 of 19 Old Sep 8th, 2007, 2:27 pm
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I know that lady

She drives a Canyon Red LT. Don't let the act fool you. She can ride.

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post #14 of 19 Old Sep 9th, 2007, 3:06 am
 
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Except for suicides, most of us will not be able to dictate the terms of our demise. Most of our departures will probably be rather rude, and decidedly different than Messenger 13's imagined passing.
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post #15 of 19 Old Sep 9th, 2007, 4:54 pm
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For most of us, it will be locked up in a geezer warehouse somewhere. In our few lucid moments, free of the happy meds that will be foreced down our throats to keep us malliable and quiet, we will despondently long for release from the diapers, the drool and the loss of human dignity. Hmmmm, they shoot horses, don't they?

BTW, Lynn works in billing at the hospital. When a geezer comes in with yet another geezer disease and admits to being depressed or acts depressed, they automatically are put in psychiatric care and get pumped full of happy pills. Better living through chemistry, eh? I saw it happen to my mother who's worse fear as a senior was winding up out of her head in a geezer warehouse. Guess where she is now? When my sister tried to get her into a hospice that wanted to help her go with dignity, the hospital and the docs threatened court action we could not afford to fight to keep her and extend her life for what? Goddess I so loooove the medical profession

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post #16 of 19 Old Sep 9th, 2007, 6:15 pm
 
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Vapor !!! Thats what we all are....a short speck of time. Thats why i "try" to do the things i should and not the things i shouldnt...i love reading the book of Ecclesiastes occasionally for a real dose of reality from Soloman, the worlds "wisest (man)" summation of lifes folly....."all is vanity"..i hope there is more depth to the short life i live than a goldfish in a bowl...Im livin for the long afterward!...

"Then i saw that wisdom exceeded folly, as far as light exceeded darkness"
Ecclesiastes 2:13


p.s. if you havnt read it, go to Proverbs and turn right...its the next book.
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post #17 of 19 Old Sep 9th, 2007, 10:29 pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skaboots

"Then i saw that wisdom exceeded folly, as far as light exceeded darkness"
Ecclesiastes 2:13


p.s. if you havnt read it, go to Proverbs and turn right...its the next book.



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post #18 of 19 Old Sep 10th, 2007, 11:21 am Thread Starter
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I saw it happen to my mother who's worse fear as a senior was winding up out of her head in a geezer warehouse. Guess where she is now? When my sister tried to get her into a hospice that wanted to help her go with dignity, the hospital and the docs threatened court action we could not afford to fight to keep her and extend her life for what? Goddess I so loooove the medical profession

Karl
That's terrible. People's use of the government to force others to live how they believe they should live has taken away the ownership of our bodies. You don't get to decide how you die. Your family doesn't get to decide (poor Michael Schiavo). More and more, you don't get to decide how you live. This trend needs to be reversed. It's very sad.

I can only hope that when my time comes, I have some time to say my goodbyes and help get things in order. But, like Gary said, unless we commit suicide, we don't pick our time, and the state doesn't think you have the right to decide when to die.

Joe didn't say, but he must plan on having his wine spiked for him to die peacefully in his sleep on a night of his choosing. If my wife and I are fortunate enough to grow old together, and we were both ready, it'd be a nice way to not have to say goodbye. It just doesn't seem likely, though.

When a government takes over a people’s economic life it becomes absolute, and when it has become absolute it destroys the arts, the minds, the liberties and the meaning of the people it governs.
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post #19 of 19 Old Sep 11th, 2007, 8:44 am
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[QUOTE=messenger13]I tell people of how and when I want to die, and they almost seem offended. I find it very odd.

On my 72nd birthday, ................I'm going home.

QUOTE]
Hey Joe, I admire your realistic look at life and accepting the ultimate end result. However, I wonder if your outlook will change with time? I turned 67 last month and am hoping for a few more than 5 more good ones!!

Cheers, looking forward to saying HI at Iron Horse.

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