Best insulting one liners - BMW Luxury Touring Community
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post #1 of 4 Old Aug 21st, 2007, 4:06 pm Thread Starter
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Best insulting one liners

*A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

*"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

*"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."- Winston Churchill

*"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill

*"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

*"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

*"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

*"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

*"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

*"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

*"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

*"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

*"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb"

*He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

*"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keatin

*"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." - Jack E. Leonard

*"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford

*"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed

*"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

*"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

*"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

*"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

*"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts ... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

*"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

*"I 've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

*"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

Mark Conlogue
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I take Life with a grain of salt......and a slice of lime and a shot of Tequila
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post #2 of 4 Old Aug 21st, 2007, 4:43 pm
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HA! Love it! I may have to use some of these.......

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post #3 of 4 Old Aug 21st, 2007, 8:17 pm
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It would seem that a really good insult requires exceptional intelligence. And these are really good.

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post #4 of 4 Old Aug 21st, 2007, 8:46 pm
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I have read many lists of insults, and this is (by far!) the best of the best. Thanks for sharing!!!
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