A new view of the origin of liberals and conservatives - BMW Luxury Touring Community
 
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post #1 of 23 Old Jul 4th, 2007, 11:42 am Thread Starter
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A new view of the origin of liberals and conservatives

A little long but it gets better and better as it goes on...

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals

2. Conservatives

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known s the Conservative movement. Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girliemen.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided. Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the lephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals.

Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, c orporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively.
Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

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post #2 of 23 Old Jul 4th, 2007, 1:11 pm
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Sounds right to me.

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post #3 of 23 Old Jul 4th, 2007, 2:55 pm
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Gosh, I would laugh at this, but dammit it's just too true to be funny!

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post #4 of 23 Old Jul 4th, 2007, 5:13 pm
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That is funny on so many levels... although I think some liberals won't like it.

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post #5 of 23 Old Jul 4th, 2007, 6:19 pm
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Huh?

What a crock....shouldn't this be on the Rush (All drug addicts should die till I'm found to be one) BS "Humor" page. Ha.. ha..

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post #6 of 23 Old Jul 4th, 2007, 6:59 pm
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What a crock of sh!t. Shouldn't you at least post it in the humor forum, where it can be properly rebutted and ridiculed?

And I could've guessed exactly who'd respond, and pretty much what they'd say. I'm just waiting for Channing to pitch in his +1.

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post #7 of 23 Old Jul 4th, 2007, 8:41 pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meese
What a crock of sh!t. Shouldn't you at least post it in the humor forum, where it can be properly rebutted and ridiculed?

And I could've guessed exactly who'd respond, and pretty much what they'd say. I'm just waiting for Channing to pitch in his +1.
I would agree with that; it does belong in the Humor forum. And I wouldn't get too out of shape about it; it's so over-the-top it's obviously not meant to be taken seriously.

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post #8 of 23 Old Jul 4th, 2007, 8:59 pm Thread Starter
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Should be in the humor colum...

You guys are right! And my apologies for not posting it in the humor colum. In fact I was about to do this when I remembered that many liberals do not have much of a sense of humor, and how much fun would it be if only conservatives and former socialists turned libetarians like me would read this?

Did anybody really take this serious to the point of being offended??? Offense was not intended, but like anything funny there is a grain of truth in it.

I promise to buy all offended liberals a drink at CCR...

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post #9 of 23 Old Jul 4th, 2007, 9:45 pm
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Apparently some of the respondents thought it was "just to true" or that it "sounds right." And yet, there are those folks out there who actually believe in such things, and will take something even as far fetched as this nonsense to prove that they're right and everyone who disagrees is wrong, and should be "dipped in poop and then shot for stinking."

It may be mildly funny to some, and there may be a grain of truth in it (both doubtful), but I just can't see the point in posting such blatantly divisive drivel so obviously designed to stir the pot.

Now sitting down as friends and having such conversations over a few drinks is different, as everyone can participate or not as they see fit and has an equal chance of rebuttal or counterpoint.

Yep, this year's Booze Brothers is sure gonna be interesting . . .

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Some people see the gas tank as half empty. Some see it as half full. All I care is that I know where the next tankful is coming from...
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post #10 of 23 Old Jul 5th, 2007, 6:56 am
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+1 for what Gunny said
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post #11 of 23 Old Jul 5th, 2007, 8:15 am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meese
What a crock of sh!t. Shouldn't you at least post it in the humor forum, where it can be properly rebutted and ridiculed?

And I could've guessed exactly who'd respond, and pretty much what they'd say. I'm just waiting for Channing to pitch in his +1.
I went to the forums page and found that Chit Chat is described as:

This is a forum for general, off topic discussions that do not fit in the other forums.

So its seems like the original post is in the right location to me.

I think that one problems people are having is the association of Liberals to democrats and Conservatives to republicans. Seems to me that democrats and republicans are now just different wings of the same political party. In my mind Conservatives believe that while there is a role for government, it should not be the dominant force in peoples' lives. This belief is now more along the lines of Libertarians than republicans. The democrat philosphy is well intentioned but does not take human nature into account.

Res ipsa loquitur, sed quid in infernos dicet?

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post #12 of 23 Old Jul 5th, 2007, 9:17 am
 
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You mean to say democrats have a philosophy ?
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post #13 of 23 Old Jul 5th, 2007, 9:51 am
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Quoting one of my favorite comedians, Lewis Black:

"Democrats: The party of NO ideas. Republicans: The party of BAD ideas."

Makes me wonder when a viable third party might arrive. And no, Ralph Nadar doesn't constitute a viable third party.


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post #14 of 23 Old Jul 5th, 2007, 10:30 am
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Originally Posted by brianbeemer
You mean to say democrats have a philosophy ?
Yes-take everything you have and make you dependent on them.

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post #15 of 23 Old Jul 5th, 2007, 10:47 am
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Well, I will be at Booze Brothers with my red wine, cigar and liberal bias. I will be happy to claim offense for a free drink, and I really do like BBQ if any of you conservative neanderthals want to bring it along. I prefer the domesticated beef or pork for my BBQ. Where would you hunter gatherer conservatives be without us farmer-rancher liberals that grow the wheat for beer and the beef for your BBQ.

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post #16 of 23 Old Jul 5th, 2007, 4:24 pm
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Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolfgang

I promise to buy all offended liberals a drink at CCR...



Well, OK, then Wolfgang.

I think I just became an offended Liberal

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post #17 of 23 Old Jul 5th, 2007, 4:59 pm
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Wolfgang:
You didn't offend me in the least, I ain't thin skinned but I will sip a cool one with you.

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post #18 of 23 Old Jul 5th, 2007, 5:59 pm
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Originally Posted by jayz9705
Well, OK, then Wolfgang.

I think I just became an offended Liberal
Glad to have you aboard, Jay.

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Some people see the gas tank as half empty. Some see it as half full. All I care is that I know where the next tankful is coming from...
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post #19 of 23 Old Jul 5th, 2007, 5:59 pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gunny
You didn't offend me in the least, I ain't thin skinned but I will sip a cool one with you.
Yeah, it's easy not to get offended when you may agree with the overall premise, no matter how absurd. The hard part is when you don't agree, and can still maintain an air of civility and intelligent discourse, rather than just posting that all who disagree should die or be killed for daring to believe differently than you, and even worse, for having the guts to say so.

Sounds like we'll be having a drink or two as well, Gunny.

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post #20 of 23 Old Jul 5th, 2007, 6:07 pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meese
Yeah, it's easy not to get offended when you may agree with the overall premise, no matter how absurd. The hard part is when you don't agree, and can still maintain an air of civility and intelligent discourse, rather than just posting that all who disagree should die or be killed for daring to believe differently than you, and even worse, for having the guts to say so.

Sounds like we'll be having a drink or two as well, Gunny.
Ken, I'm sure there will be time to run into you at CCR, and I hope we have time to have a drink together. You're one of the folks around here I'm looking forward to meeting.

Regarding the BB events, just what is the legal drinking age in Missouri? I'm bringing my daughter (not yet 21); while I'm not toooooo sure I want to expose her to the Booze Brothers, I wouldn't mind stopping by to say "hi". Maybe I can find something else for her to do one evening...

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post #21 of 23 Old Jul 5th, 2007, 6:20 pm
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Been too busy lately.. with new grandson to keep up here...

but I do think we oversimplify into the "them/us" argument of L/C.

So sure, +1.. if for no other reason than I would hate to disappoint my friend K.M... or have him be "wrong".

Still, "peace and blessings" to all....

...............
J.M.J...
Dcn Channing

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post #22 of 23 Old Jul 5th, 2007, 6:22 pm
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Actually, BB is more a state of mind than anything else. It started as a few friends sharing whisky & cigars, morphed into a few more friends sharing whatever they decided to bring along, and has gotten to be more of an open social gathering of upwards of 100 people. Some folks don't drink at all for whatever reason, and just drop by for the social aspect.

So there shouldn't be a problem, unless it's held in an official bar or similar room where the entrance age is verified upon entering. But there may well be an evening where your daughter wants some time alone anyway.

I'm looking forward to meeting you too, Howard. Just don't believe anything Joe has told you about me, and definitely don't believe any pictures that he may have in his possession.

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Some people see the gas tank as half empty. Some see it as half full. All I care is that I know where the next tankful is coming from...
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post #23 of 23 Old Jul 5th, 2007, 6:25 pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cfell
but I do think we oversimplify into the "them/us" argument of L/C.
Agreed. Great pics of the grandson, BTW. When's he going for his first LT ride.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cfell
Still, "peace and blessings" to all....
I just wish that sentiment were more common than it is . . .

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Some people see the gas tank as half empty. Some see it as half full. All I care is that I know where the next tankful is coming from...
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