Merry Christmas - BMW Luxury Touring Community
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 6 Old Dec 6th, 2006, 7:47 am Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
zimbazi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Cedar Park, TX, USA
Posts: 300
Merry Christmas

Time for LTer's to give it a try:

Here is one I saved for biker Christmas poems....

Please send in your Christmas thoughts...

More to build on in the days to come::



Bikers Night Before Christmas



'Twas the night before Christmas, And not until Spring, Would an engine be running, not even a Wing.

The bikes are all sleeping, They're covered and warm Batteries are tended, nylon covers their form.

My Bros were all nestled snug in their beds, While visions of new chrome danced in their heads.

And I in my doo-rag, bike jacket and boots, Out shoveling snow, and dreaming of scoots.

Then from the horizon there came such a clatter, My shovel I dropped, what could be the matter?

Away up the hill, I slogged through the snow, Looked up at the sky; where'd all that noise go?

A throb from the heavens like straight pipes so hearty, Gave Summers' good thoughts, a loud bikers' party.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a neat '02 Retro, Red trailer in rear.

With a little old rider, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than Crotchies his Retro came on, And he whistled, and shouted, and sang out this song;

"Now, Harley! Now, Big Dog! On Honda and Beamer!

Now Vulcan! Now Injun! On Vict'ry and Trumpet!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now RIDE away! RIDE away! RIDE away all!"

As small bikes that from the semis do fly, When they meet with the air blast, mount to the sky.

So up to the house-top that Ol' X it flew, With a trailer of goodies, and ole' St. Nick too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof, The rumble and thunder of pipes that gave proof.

I ran to the house, boots thumping around, And in came St. Nick all bearded and round.

Dressed all in black leather, from do-rag to boot, His chaps were all tarnished with road grime and soot.

A T-bag of goodies he'd flung on his back, And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His shades -- how they twinkled! his do-rag how scary!

With chains intertwined, through skulls that were cherry!

His droll little mouth had done many a row, So the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, The smoke had a strange smell; it gave him relief!

He had a broad face and a large fat beer belly, That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was tattooed and plump, a right jolly old rider, So I offered a cold Bud, thought what could be righter?

A wink of his eye as he downed that cold beer, Gave me to know I had nothing to fear.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to my ride, And fixed it with Chrome, Horsepower and Pride!

And giving the peace sign with bikers' good cheer, Took off for his Retro which was rumbling quite near.

He sprang on the saddle, his gloves on the bars, A wheeley he threw then off towards the stars!

I heard him exclaim, as my chest swelled with pride...

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD RIDE!"


Jeff Goodwin
Austin, Texas

"Life is a coin.
You can spend it anyway you wish,
but you can only spend it once."



zimbazi is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 6 Old Dec 6th, 2006, 5:39 pm
Lifetime Supporter
 
petevandyke's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Dallas, TX, USA
Posts: 1,741
how the hell do you top that?

Nicely done...


My only attempt:


Press on the starter...

CLICK CLICK CLICK

Forgot the battery tender all winter,

Now I need a new gell cell...SHIT!


Ho, ho, ho...to the dealership I will go

Yo, ho, ho...Resist the farkles? NO!


Back on the LT,

Lickety-split...

Gotta' mount my new new goodie...

before the wifey finds out I purchased it...




(I know, no risk of a gold record here...)

========================================
When life throws you a curve, LEAN INTO IT!!!
2000 R1100RT-P...R.I.P. "Old motorcycle"
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

2004 K1200LT "Lick and Tickle"
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


FU*K Cancer. If I have one more MRI, I'll stick to the refrigerator door.
petevandyke is offline  
post #3 of 6 Old Dec 6th, 2006, 9:47 pm
Lifetime Supporter
 
chuckle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Friendswood, TX, USA
Posts: 161
Dang, I wish I had talent.
chuckle is offline  
 
post #4 of 6 Old Dec 7th, 2006, 8:43 am Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
zimbazi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Cedar Park, TX, USA
Posts: 300
Smile christam gift......

WHO SAYS BIKERS AREN'T REAL BRIGHT??

Hello, is this the FBI?"

"Yes. What do you want?"

"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Grifscoot's!

He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the FBI agents descend on Grifscoot's house.

They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes,

they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.

They swore at Grifscoot's and left..

The phone rings at Grifscoot's house.

"Hey, Grifscoot's! Did the FBI come?"

"Yeah!"

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep."

"Merry Christmas Buddy"

Jeff Goodwin
Austin, Texas

"Life is a coin.
You can spend it anyway you wish,
but you can only spend it once."



zimbazi is offline  
post #5 of 6 Old Dec 7th, 2006, 12:12 pm
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 14,437
Dang, I gotta git me a load of firewood!!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by zimbazi
WHO SAYS BIKERS AREN'T REAL BRIGHT??

Hello, is this the FBI?"

"Yes. What do you want?"

"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Grifscoot's!

He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the FBI agents descend on Grifscoot's house.

They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes,

they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.

They swore at Grifscoot's and left..

The phone rings at Grifscoot's house.

"Hey, Grifscoot's! Did the FBI come?"

"Yeah!"

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep."

"Merry Christmas Buddy"
Dick is offline  
post #6 of 6 Old Dec 7th, 2006, 7:00 pm
Lifetime Supporter
 
deputy5211's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Dallas Area, TX, USA
Posts: 4,877
Nah, the feebs are on to this trick. Try the local DEA office

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dick
Dang, I gotta git me a load of firewood!!!

Antony (Tripod)
Dallas' Northern Suburbs
-----------------------------------------------

If you want to be happy for a day, drink.
If you want to be happy for a year, marry.
If you want to be happy for a lifetime, ride a motorcycle.

-----------------------------------------------


'05 K1200LT - Dark Graphite - RIP 04 OCT 2015
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


'99 Road King Classic - Custom Blue/Silver & Chrome - "My Baby" Gone but forever in my heart!

and many, many others.
*

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
deputy5211 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the BMW Luxury Touring Community forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in











Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Merry Christmas zimbazi South Central 5 Dec 18th, 2006 9:47 pm
Merry Christmas, and a wonderful New Year dshealey Chit Chat 7 Dec 26th, 2005 5:06 pm
Merry Christmas tsBMWminer North West 6 Dec 26th, 2005 12:02 am
Merry Christmas? MOSLEYDS Chit Chat 105 Dec 22nd, 2005 3:10 pm
Merry Christmas PePa Humor 4 Dec 16th, 2005 12:02 am

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome