So I get a call (message) from a guy with a heavy Indian accent last night stating that he was Officer Kevin Miller from the Criminal Investigative Department of the IRS. Told me to call him back because I committed Tax fraud and I needed to rectify this right away before they submitted my case to the Federal Tax court in Washington DC.
I call them back this morning, (571)526-0032, and spoke to an Officer Keith Andersen, heavy Indian accent, Badge # 19897. He explained I committed Tax fraud from 2003 – 2012 and I needed to rectify the problem Immediately. Since he was reading from a scrip I politely interrupted and told him IRS has not sent any correspondences or follow up notifications as required by Law.
He got a little upset and told me that they did send notices to my address. He then went on to say an Officer came by my home twice. Once on June 10, 2014 and again on August 25, 2014. The Officer supposedly left a yellow tag stating he’d been by and to contact their office right away.
The Officer, Keith Anderson, got really upset when I calmly interrupted his scrip again and stated that no one left a yellow tag at my door. He then went on to say I would be going to jail and that the Corona Sheriff Department would be coming by my home.
When I calmly commented that I didn’t t know the city of Corona had a Sheriff Department he started yelling at me and stated that the authorizes would be at my home within 30-45 minutes
I told him that wouldn’t work for me because I wasn’t at home to be arrested. I said I was at work and he should send the Corona Sheriff Department to my job instead. He then yelled at me, off script again, that is exactly what he intended to do.
I calmly said “OK….I’ll wait right here”.
I then asked what time would they (Corona Sheriff Department) arrive and if I should wait outside or wait until they rang the doorbell. When he started to answer I interrupted and commented that this arrest was going to make me a big celebrity at my job. Especially an arrest from the Corona Sheriff Department.
He was finally silent
I asked if they are going to use zip ties or real handcuffs because handcuffs would be cool. I told him that for dramatic effect I’d yell “Don’t tase me Bro!” during the arrest. I also asked if they were going to tase me because being tased would be cool too…..pepper spray wouldn’t.
That’s when he hung up. How rude.
I tried calling back to find out how much I supposedly owe but no one picked up. That was a disappointment.
That happened this morning so nothing yet. Maybe they got lost. Maybe I should call them and offer directions?
So if you see any of these guys from the Corona Sheriff Department…
.......they are probably looking for me.