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post #1 of 26 Old Jan 17th, 2008, 9:33 pm Thread Starter
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Harley Owner Group - HOG - Owner Exam

Just copied this off of another forum thread. Thought it was worth plagiarizing.


Harley-Davidson Owner's Group "HOG"

1. The primary purpose of "HOG" is to promote: A) Fellowship among Harley-Davidson owners B) Chrome-plating C) Motorcycle Gangs D) Inbreeding

2. You see another HOG member riding the opposite direction on the highway you are on. You either: A). Hold your arm off to the left and gesture with a proud salute B). act too cool to notice and keep going C). Turn around, chase him down and beat him up for his chrome accessories D). Run after him frantically waving for help, since you've been stranded on the hard shoulder for over 5 hours

3. When performing your pre-ride check, you notice a few drops of engine oil on the floor underneath your motorcycle. You should: A). Immediately clean it up with a towel or other B). Breath a sigh of relief that the engine still contains oil and optimistically press the starter switch C). Dab your fingers on the stain and then on your face, achieving that cool "greasy mechanic" look D). Pull the Harley forward so the rear tyre sits on the oil stain and attempt a burnout

4. The most important piece of gear to a Harley rider is: A). Half-helmet B). Goggles C). Leather Pants D). Wallet Chain E) Break-Down Kit

5. You see a row of Harley-Davidsons lined up at a roadside drinking establishment. You choose to: A). Stop and make some new friends B). Park for a moment, hammer down some shots of whiskey, and wobble home C). Attempt a wheelie D) Beat the crap out of some sucker for insulting HOG

6. A valve stem has broken off and effectively seized up the engine. After removing the head and thoroughly inspecting the situation, you: A). Head to an authorized H-D dealer and order genuine Harley replacement parts B). Decide to chrome plate the valve stems and springs C). Conclude that more end play in the cams could have prevented this tragedy D). Try starting the motor so that the neighbors know you're working on your bike

7. A Japanese-made sport-bike pulls up in the lane next to you at a stoplight. You: A). Nod diplomatically at your fellow motorcyclist, in spite of his patriotic failure in his duty to buy American. B). Grab a handful of throttle and race the engine, hoping to engage him in an exhaust volume contest C). Curse the F#$%ing rice burner and throw your cigar at him. D. Keep pushing when the lights change colour

8. The guy down the block has a Sportster 1100 that is faster at the strip than your souped-up Fat Boy. You feel a need to level the playing field where the power to weight ratio is concerned. You decide to: A). Install NOS B). Remove the exhaust pipes and run straight headers, since more decibels equals more power C). Go on a diet D). Inform your 270 pound passenger she is no longer allowed to accompany you on the bike during runs at the drag-strip

9. Cruising along at full throttle, you are casually overtaken and passed by a Scooterist. You: A). Stop at a payphone and dial 999 to notify the authorities of a reckless driver B). Attempt to pass the scooter by imitating his hunched over riding style, reducing aerodynamic drag and gaining another 5 mph top end speed C). Curse the little S$%^e and choke on your cigar in the process D. Shoot him

10. The preferred method of cleaning a Harley-Davidson is: A). S-100 motorcycle wash or equivalent B). Simonize C). Gunk engine degreaser D). Mother nature

***BONUS QUESTION*** 11. You need new tires for your Harley. You decide to go with: A). Dunlop Qualifiers B). Mickey Thompson Super Off-Roaders C). Cheng Shins D). anything chrome-plated
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post #2 of 26 Old Jan 18th, 2008, 8:16 am
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There is so much funny about that. BUt we're supposed to be tolerant, right? : )

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post #3 of 26 Old Jan 18th, 2008, 8:24 am Thread Starter
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I think we're tolerant. they are allowed to ride on the same road as us. ( as long as it is behind us and to the left ) We wave to them when they are parked ( broke down ?) on the shoulder.

Tolerance/sympathy - same thing !

I even wear my shirt to acknowledge them:
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post #4 of 26 Old Jan 18th, 2008, 9:58 am
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Here is a quiz for all you righteous guys...

The motorcycle riders who think making fun of (any) other brand and the people who ride them are::
1. Jealous.
2. Uninformed
3. Just plain stupid
4. All of the above.

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post #5 of 26 Old Jan 18th, 2008, 7:41 pm Thread Starter
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Hey take a deep breath...

How about adding a number:

5: Just clowning around.

I get a bunch of ragging from my 2 brother-in-laws who own Harleys and my brother in CA who has an old Pan Head Harley.

It is a give-n-take in my family.

So Lighten up! geez...

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92 K75S Red and fast (sadly gone)
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post #6 of 26 Old Jan 18th, 2008, 7:55 pm Thread Starter
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My wife's sister and brother-in-law from Indiana came down to visit us several months ago and of course, as most Harley owners must do, they had to stop at every Harley shop within 50 miles to buy a couple of t-shirts.

We blind sided them and stopped at our BMW shop on the way to the Harley shop. My wife and I (of course) were wearing our shirts with the "This is your brain, This is your brain on drugs" shirts ( see below)

Once we got to the Harley shop and they bought their shirts, my sister-in-law stated that it was "unfair" that the Harley shop didn't have any shirts dissing BMW's.

I told her it had to do with the "Truth in Publication Law" . BMW could say it...Harley can't !

BMW vs.Harley - the mechanical Hatfield & McCoys !


IT"S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEONE BLOWS A FINAL DRIVE !!
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2002 TW 200 - White/Blue - #1,The wife's CRF replacement.
2002 TW 200 - WhiteBlue - #2, My matching toy
2001 XT 225 - White/Blue - Sold 7/08
92 K75S Red and fast (sadly gone)
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post #7 of 26 Old Jan 19th, 2008, 6:06 am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KIC
My wife's sister and brother-in-law from Indiana came down to visit us several months ago and of course, as most Harley owners must do, they had to stop at every Harley shop within 50 miles to buy a couple of t-shirts.

We blind sided them and stopped at our BMW shop on the way to the Harley shop. My wife and I (of course) were wearing our shirts with the "This is your brain, This is your brain on drugs" shirts ( see below)

Once we got to the Harley shop and they bought their shirts, my sister-in-law stated that it was "unfair" that the Harley shop didn't have any shirts dissing BMW's.

I told her it had to do with the "Truth in Publication Law" . BMW could say it...Harley can't !


BMW vs.Harley - the mechanical Hatfield & McCoys !


IT"S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEONE BLOWS A FINAL DRIVE !!



Can you direct me to the purchase of a t-shirt like that??? Where do you get one?? Need one for the up coming police motorcycle rodeo.

John
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post #8 of 26 Old Jan 19th, 2008, 7:45 am
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You guys have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on your hands.

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post #9 of 26 Old Jan 19th, 2008, 1:28 pm
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Smile T-shirt

Quote:
Originally Posted by motorman587
Can you direct me to the purchase of a t-shirt like that??? Where do you get one?? Need one for the up coming police motorcycle rodeo.
Iron Horse Motorcycles Tucon,Arizona www.ironhorsemotocycles.com (BMW dealer)
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post #10 of 26 Old Jan 19th, 2008, 3:18 pm
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Love part 8 . . . "Bad Boy Brad wandered into a Boutique and staggered out a Biker."

"Don't laugh, It's real!


I'll buy him a anytime . . just for the entertainment.

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post #11 of 26 Old Jan 19th, 2008, 4:16 pm Thread Starter
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If IronHorse won't ship one, PM me your size, when you need it by, and I'll pick one ( or more) up and send it to you. I love my shirt ! I think they were around $15.00 or so.

Bill

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2002 TW 200 - WhiteBlue - #2, My matching toy
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92 K75S Red and fast (sadly gone)
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post #12 of 26 Old Jan 19th, 2008, 5:50 pm Thread Starter
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DaveDragon,

Very entertaining. Enjoyed reading them. Thanks for sharing.

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2006 KLR 650 - RED- The fast dual sport color !
2002 TW 200 - White/Blue - #1,The wife's CRF replacement.
2002 TW 200 - WhiteBlue - #2, My matching toy
2001 XT 225 - White/Blue - Sold 7/08
92 K75S Red and fast (sadly gone)
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Yamaha YZ 250 for the dirt ( still good use for a smokin' 2-stroke !) In critical care 4/08
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post #13 of 26 Old Jan 19th, 2008, 7:28 pm
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A very good chuckle indeed!

Please Visit My Website


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post #14 of 26 Old Jan 19th, 2008, 8:13 pm
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The scooter overtaking a Harley is not too far from the truth...

I drag raced a guy on a stock '03 1200 Sportster on my 1990 Honda GB 500 (36 hp single cylinder Brit look alike) in a quarter mile. I stayed with him until the last few hundred yards. I weighed 220 and he tipped the scales at about 160 soaking wet.


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post #15 of 26 Old Jan 19th, 2008, 10:03 pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RonKMiller
The scooter overtaking a Harley is not too far from the truth...

I drag raced a guy on a stock '03 1200 Sportster on my 1990 Honda GB 500 (36 hp single cylinder Brit look alike) in a quarter mile. I stayed with him until the last few hundred yards. I weighed 220 and he tipped the scales at about 160 soaking wet.
I drag raced a guy up a hill. He was in his VW van and I was on my Road King, and I won.

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post #16 of 26 Old Jan 19th, 2008, 11:24 pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dan-A
I drag raced a guy up a hill. He was in his VW van and I was on my Road King, and I won.
Yeah, but yer not a Harley Guy You're a motorcyclist who happens to own a HD

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post #17 of 26 Old Jan 21st, 2008, 8:41 am
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Ironically, of the two bikes I remember stopping to offer help when I thought I might, neither was a Harley. One was a BMW GS - of course they had enough stuff to fix it and were working it out. The other was a custom whose rear fender bolts had grooved the rear tire pretty badly. His bud had watched it start smoking the rear tire as they motored down the highway....


Usually the broken Harleys I ve seen are surrounded by a bunch of scary-looking ppl on cel phones....: )

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post #18 of 26 Old Jan 21st, 2008, 9:18 am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ted Shred
Yeah, but yer not a Harley Guy You're a motorcyclist who happens to own a HD

I suppose that is true.

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post #19 of 26 Old Jan 21st, 2008, 6:02 pm
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cant we all just get along ? DON'T MAKE A RATS ASS 2 ME WHAT U RIDE AS LONG AS U RIDE.not all harley riders are your stero-type if i see a bike broke down along the side of the road i'm stopin don't matter what brand it is ,who no'es might be me the next time broke down but thats ok cruse on by i have tools and know how 2 fixer
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post #20 of 26 Old Jan 21st, 2008, 6:04 pm
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Quote:
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cant we all just get along ? DON'T MAKE A RATS ASS 2 ME WHAT U RIDE AS LONG AS U RIDE.not all harley riders are your stero-type if i see a bike broke down along the side of the road i'm stopin don't matter what brand it is ,who no'es might be me the next time broke down but thats ok cruse on by i have tools and know how 2 fixer
I agree.

Went for a real nice ride yesterday. 8 HD's and 2 Beemers. A good time was had by all

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post #21 of 26 Old Jan 21st, 2008, 6:09 pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ted Shred
I agree.

Went for a real nice ride yesterday. 8 HD's and 2 Beemers. A good time was had by all
Did you see the ride pics?

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post #22 of 26 Old Jan 21st, 2008, 6:15 pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dan-A
Did you see the ride pics?
Hey those are cool, hadn't looked yet.




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post #23 of 26 Old Jan 21st, 2008, 6:20 pm
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Yeah, nice, you on the LT and me in front on the R1200R, and a string of Harleys.

And the lead 4 Harleys kept a pretty good pace through Berryessa too.

How old are your kids?

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post #24 of 26 Old Jan 21st, 2008, 6:30 pm
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Looks Like Fun 2 Stinkin Cold 2 Ride Here This Past Weekend I Had Zero Yesterday Morn Thats Ok Had A Few Things 2 Do 2 The Ole Girl B-4 Spring Gets Here Or At Least The 30's Ride On
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post #25 of 26 Old Jan 21st, 2008, 7:50 pm Thread Starter
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Two wheels in common....

Slim,

We do all get along. Harassin' the "other" brand is part of the fun. Can't get sued since "TRUTH" is the absolute defense for any libel or defamation claims.

Just met a friend of mine today to look at a R1100RT he is looking to buy. He rides a Harley. He rode it over to look at the Beamer.

Looks like the meds he must be takin' are working since he is willing to come on over from the dark side.

Messin' with you Harley guys are like sibling rivalry. We can do it among ourselves, but let any cage drivers screw with a biker...we be one team !

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2006 KLR 650 - RED- The fast dual sport color !
2002 TW 200 - White/Blue - #1,The wife's CRF replacement.
2002 TW 200 - WhiteBlue - #2, My matching toy
2001 XT 225 - White/Blue - Sold 7/08
92 K75S Red and fast (sadly gone)
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Yamaha YZ 250 for the dirt ( still good use for a smokin' 2-stroke !) In critical care 4/08
Honda CRF 230F - Wifey's dirt fun. (Sold)
Many Honda 750 F's (May they Rest In Peace)
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post #26 of 26 Old Oct 24th, 2009, 5:13 am
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Re: Harley Owner Group - HOG - Owner Exam

Thanks for your help. But all of the suggestions was not what I was looking for, but when I looked in the related threads at the bottom I found the post. It was posted on Nov. 5 2007 by Lonewuff. I will have lots of fun with these one liners tonight.
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