Originally Posted by MarinPhil
Sorry Dude, your story , if it really did happen, should have been written as a learning lesson. But as written, poking fun at a brother rider-suppose you've ridden Bemmers all your life?, is just plain wrong. No, cell phones do not spontaneously combust or cause fires. Every reported incident has been a hoax and disproved. Could it have happened--sure. Writing about it in a comical way is wrong-read-stupid. What were you doing when this fellow rider was on fire--looking for your camera? Next time you break down on the road in the middle of nowhere--you get my point.
A) I didn't suggest that it was his cell phone that caused the fire, it was plugging his electric vest--that was saturated in f**king gasoline--into his outlet that caused the fire. So you can take that part of your post, the "No, cell phones do not spontaneously combust or cause fires" and, well, do something with it...'cause all I typed was that he was talking on one instead of holding the fuel handle which led to the geyser of gasoline that soaked his vest (man is it hard not to type a disparaging word at the end of that sentence for emphasis...)
B) I clearly and plainly stated that the rider WAS NOT INJURED, so try reading the post beyond the title which was meant to draw everyone's attention so they would read it (by the way, the first half of the thread title is "never thought about this one--" which is why I end the post with the caution that you should never use the locking mechanism when you fuel up, and that people like me who never would have thunk such a thing should also remember not to plug in heated clothing in the rare instance that they spill fuel on said clothing)
C) We've already addressed the "what were you doing instead of helping him" issue...if you read the posts that followed, our UNHURT goldwing rider (and I have no bias, as long as it has two wheels I like it) was extinguished in less time than it would have taken me to get to him anyway
D) Thanks, Tony...yes, if he had been injured my post would have been of an entirely different tone---one solely of "a rider was injured because this happened, let it be a warning to others..." but since he was uninjured, save for his vest and perhaps ego, I found it fair game to write about it in jocular tone
E) If you're a former cop, and you never engaged in "Gallows Humor," then you were either fortunate enough to never have to find an outlet for horrific things seen on duty, or you truly should be wearing a cape, and the rest of us should sign up for lessons.
One of my professional mentors worked narcotics and outlaw biker gangs in New Mexico for 22 years, on Sundays he was the pastor of a church he literally built with his own hands...when a meth-head they were looking for, who happened to work as a custodian at a local school, was found in an empty 55 gallon ether drum (this, in the days before the "cold method" of methamphetamine processing became more popular), he coined the guy "Janitor in a drum." A female friend, mother of three and flight medic, had a flight where a guy on horseback discovered an angry neighbor had strung barbed wire about 8 feet in the air--the hard way. He became "Ichabod Crane." And a now passed Chicago PD Chaplain I met talked about how he had to help a cop deal with problems he was having after a suspect jumped from what he thought was a second floor window but was really a 20th story window--referring to it as a "bad case of cement poisoning" (a term I later laughed at when I heard it used in the Billy Crystal movie "Running Scared" which was filmed in Chicago). So, if a pastor, a mother of three, and a chaplain seek refuge in gallows humor, I'm guessing that you perhaps might have once in your career?
But it doesn't matter, because this guy didn't get hurt, but you didn't read far enough to catch that, did you?
Part of me wants desperately to type "I'm guessing you weren't a fucking detective, Phil, because your eye for detail is about as sharp as Ray Charles'..." (and yeah, I know he's dead, but it sounded funnier than saying Stevie Wonder...oh, dang, now I'm gonna' get slammed for disparaging the name of the dead, too)
Instead, I'm gonna' just shake my head until I fall asleep, smile inwardly at the people who posted on this thread who GOT THE HUMOR IN THE POSTINGS while being glad that the guy didn't get hurt AND made a mental note not to make the same mistake, and wonder what post will pop up next, based on a partial reading of a thread-starter that a bunch of others actually enjoyed...
Hell, maybe the next one will be someone from PETA threatening to splash red paint on my sheepskin seat cover because in their superficial glance at my original post they think I was advocating buring the WINGS off of golden birds and then beating them with cell phones...
"can you hear me now?"