The Universal truths of motorcycling... - BMW Luxury Touring Community
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post #1 of 17 Old Apr 14th, 2017, 12:12 pm Thread Starter
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The Universal truths of motorcycling...

It occurs to me that owning and riding a motorcycle is a wonderful experience but it involves several Universal Truths. These truths cannot be avoided. On any given motorcycle trip or ride these Truths will be present:

1. No matter what the weather is, you will face about a 50 percent chance that you will be either too cold or too hot or too wet or too dry.

2. The corollary to number 1, above, is that the article(s) of clothing or gear that will render you more comfortable will either be at home or somewhere on your bike that you do not recall having with you- until you return home.

3. The amount of time you spend cleaning, polishing and generally spiffing up your bike will be in direct but inverse proportion to the weather. If the bike is really clean- it will rain. If the bike is kinda ratty you will find they are having a concours ‘d elegance where you want to park.

4. The bike you have is either too large, too small, too fast, too slow or otherwise has faults you will only realize under certain conditions, such as your proximity in relation to that “perfect” bike you see in the dealer’s showroom, or sometimes on Craigslist.

5. The corollary to number 4, above, is that the bike you just got and love, will revert to the bike status described in item 4 in about a thousand miles.

6. If you clean your windshield you will hit a big juicy, colorful bug directly in your line of sight.

7. If you, at great expense, upgrade your systems: Shocks, Brakes, Exhaust, Seats, Lighting, etc. you will cleverly dispose of the OEM parts via Craigslist, or classified ad. Further, when you attempt to sell the bike the one and only buyer will cancel the deal if you do not have the OEM parts.

8. If you call roadside assistance for help on a trip- particularly if you are not near an urban area, the lady who answers will ask you to move the bike to the nearest town…. or that the assistance truck is busy and please call back tomorrow.

9. If you break down in an urban area the parts or service you need will not be available till next Tuesday no matter what day it is unless today is actually Tuesday then it will be available next Monday..

10. If you travel in any direction to a desirable location… the probability that the attraction will be unavailable is inversely proportional to the difficulty in getting there. If it is really easy to get there the thing will be closed or full or otherwise unavailable. If it is a royal PITA to get there the place will be filled with an outlaw H.O.G. camp-in, in a bad mood.

. … what else…?
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post #2 of 17 Old Apr 14th, 2017, 1:07 pm
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Re: The Universal truths of motorcycling...

If I may...

1. No matter what the weather is, you will face about a 50 percent chance that you will be either too cold or too hot or too wet or too dry.
Short of tornadoes, hurricanes and blizzards, there's no bad weather, just bad clothing for the weather you encounter.
2. The corollary to number 1, above, is that the article(s) of clothing or gear that will render you more comfortable will either be at home or somewhere on your bike that you do not recall having with you- until you return home.
Ride like a Boy Scout: Be Prepared.
3. The amount of time you spend cleaning, polishing and generally spiffing up your bike will be in direct but inverse proportion to the weather. If the bike is really clean- it will rain. If the bike is kinda ratty you will find they are having a concours ‘d elegance where you want to park.
Determine which matters to you more: riding a motorcycle or having a clean motorcycle.
4. The bike you have is either too large, too small, too fast, too slow or otherwise has faults you will only realize under certain conditions, such as your proximity in relation to that “perfect” bike you see in the dealer’s showroom, or sometimes on Craigslist.
The "perfect" bike is the one you can ride, right now, right where you are.
5. The corollary to number 4, above, is that the bike you just got and love, will revert to the bike status described in item 4 in about a thousand miles.
Enjoy the ride, whatever it happens to be.
6. If you clean your windshield you will hit a big juicy, colorful bug directly in your line of sight.
If it bugs you, stop and clean it off. Being able to see where you're going is good.
7. If you, at great expense, upgrade your systems: Shocks, Brakes, Exhaust, Seats, Lighting, etc. you will cleverly dispose of the OEM parts via Craigslist, or classified ad. Further, when you attempt to sell the bike the one and only buyer will cancel the deal if you do not have the OEM parts.
It's good to have spares, and it's only money.
8. If you call roadside assistance for help on a trip- particularly if you are not near an urban area, the lady who answers will ask you to move the bike to the nearest town…. or that the assistance truck is busy and please call back tomorrow.
Yes, that can suck. Good things for any motorcyclist to know how to do at the side of the road include: repair a flat, jump a flat battery, replace fuses, siphon fuel from a donor vehicle, and ask for help.
9. If you break down in an urban area the parts or service you need will not be available till next Tuesday no matter what day it is unless today is actually Tuesday then it will be available next Monday.
That can suck, too. Stuff happens, deal with it and move on.
10. If you travel in any direction to a desirable location… the probability that the attraction will be unavailable is inversely proportional to the difficulty in getting there. If it is really easy to get there the thing will be closed or full or otherwise unavailable. If it is a royal PITA to get there the place will be filled with an outlaw H.O.G. camp-in, in a bad mood.
Make sure the ride itself is worth it and always be prepared for a change of plans.
. … what else…?


Worry less, ride more.
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post #3 of 17 Old Apr 14th, 2017, 2:07 pm
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Re: The Universal truths of motorcycling...

Or you sell the OEM parts, but need one later on for whatever reason and the person you sold it to you is selling it now at double what you got for it.
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post #4 of 17 Old Apr 14th, 2017, 5:51 pm
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Re: The Universal truths of motorcycling...

hopz = glass half empty
moto bones = glass half full

no disrespect meant...just a matter of perspective.

Sunday I cleaned 2 bikes, 3 cars and 1 truck. Yes it was a long day. Philly weather was perfect all week so bikes ruled the week. They got a little bug juice but it was a great trade off. The bonus was the cars and truck are still clean since they weren't used.

John
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post #5 of 17 Old Apr 15th, 2017, 8:05 am Thread Starter
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Re: The Universal truths of motorcycling...

[QUOTE=purcellj;1714201]hopz = glass half empty
moto bones = glass half full

Just in case... and no offense meant nor taken towards anyone... it was a freaking joke....

Carry on.
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Last edited by hopz; Apr 15th, 2017 at 8:12 am.
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post #6 of 17 Old Apr 15th, 2017, 9:10 am
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Re: The Universal truths of motorcycling...

Quote:
Originally Posted by hopz View Post
6. If you clean your windshield you will hit a big juicy, colorful bug directly in your line of sight.

May I expand on that?

Just got my new Arai Defiant Pro Cruise helmet. First ride yesterday ( to take back the pinlock that they incorrectly ordered...) and was not 2 miles from the house hit a very large bug. Literally had to slow down and pull over. Could barely see! Both the shield and sunvisor looked like they were dipped in goo.
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post #7 of 17 Old Apr 15th, 2017, 9:24 am
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Re: The Universal truths of motorcycling...

Situation- You're on the road and get hit by that sudden "I have to go....NOW!"feeling. You rip into a rest stop, practically dancing in the saddle, you step off the bike and get a few feet away when you feel a tug at your belt.......it's now that remember you had your heated gear plugged in!

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post #8 of 17 Old Apr 15th, 2017, 1:27 pm
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Re: The Universal truths of motorcycling...

[quote=hopz;1714369]
Quote:
Originally Posted by purcellj View Post
hopz = glass half empty
moto bones = glass half full

Just in case... and no offense meant nor taken towards anyone... it was a freaking joke....

Carry on.
... but whatever way you cut it - biking is the best way to see your country, best way to find new exciting places, best way to soak up the scenery and best way to meet new friends. (and a lot more besides). Happy Easter

Jon
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So many places, so many roads, so few days off work.
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post #9 of 17 Old Apr 15th, 2017, 2:02 pm
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Re: The Universal truths of motorcycling...

More fun with #8: the new-to-your-buddy bike quits on the Blue Ridge Parkway. He and you are both new to the '08 and '06 RTs you have respectively so neither of you knows to carry a spare fuel controller, but he has a new GS911 to diagnose just that. AMA wants $300 for the tow, but your AAA RV membership tow is free! Three hours later, in nice weather, the "tow truck" shows up and is a modified Chevy Caprice wagon pulling a home-made "trailer". Good times.
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post #10 of 17 Old Apr 15th, 2017, 2:10 pm
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Re: The Universal truths of motorcycling...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe's '06 RT View Post
More fun with #8: the new-to-your-buddy bike quits on the Blue Ridge Parkway. He and you are both new to the '08 and '06 RTs you have respectively so neither of you knows to carry a spare fuel controller, but he has a new GS911 to diagnose just that. AMA wants $300 for the tow, but your AAA RV membership tow is free! Three hours later, in nice weather, the "tow truck" shows up and is a modified Chevy Caprice wagon pulling a home-made "trailer". Good times.
Finally!....help has arrived......nope! THAT is priceless!

Steve and Shari Kramer
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2008 BMW R1200RT (wife rides, I fix)
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post #11 of 17 Old Apr 16th, 2017, 12:47 pm
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Re: The Universal truths of motorcycling...

Let's see if I can post another shot or two. The car had a fifth-wheel plate in the back; for positioning trailers we were told.

My riding buddy is mum on the conversation had with the driver in the roughly 80 mile tow back to his house.
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post #12 of 17 Old Apr 16th, 2017, 8:47 pm
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Re: The Universal truths of motorcycling...

1. Philosophy, opinion, experience, and Zen are all different things.
2. If you are a rider you will get hot, wet, cold, and cold and wet often all on the same day.
3. Performance, reliability, and comfort are not cheap
4. A large number of motorcycle owners never become riders because they refuse to plan and spend appropriately to deal with issues mentioned in #2 and #3 above.
5. Bugs, 18 wheelers, drivers with cell phones up against their left ear, morons in pickups with HD stickers who want to race/outrun you, and flat tires are all realities riders have learned to expect and calmly deal with.
6. If you spend more time thinking about riding rather than riding. worrying about whether your bike is ready to go, wondering if you should wait for better weather, not going because you don't want to ride alone, or spend more time working on and/or cleaning your motorcycle than you spend riding, you are probably a motorcycle owner rather than a rider.

Tip of the day: If the Easter Bunny left you raisins, don't eat them.

Last edited by JonfromCB; Apr 16th, 2017 at 9:03 pm.
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post #13 of 17 Old Apr 17th, 2017, 8:41 am
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Re: The Universal truths of motorcycling...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe's '06 RT View Post
Let's see if I can post another shot or two. The car had a fifth-wheel plate in the back; for positioning trailers we were told.

My riding buddy is mum on the conversation had with the driver in the roughly 80 mile tow back to his house.
Necessity....the mother of all inventions. Gotta give him props for being inventive...

Steve and Shari Kramer
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2008 BMW R1200RT (wife rides, I fix)
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post #14 of 17 Old Apr 17th, 2017, 9:06 am
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Re: The Universal truths of motorcycling...

Agreed. Both the car and trailer seemed robust enough to survive about anything.
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post #15 of 17 Old Apr 17th, 2017, 2:56 pm
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Re: The Universal truths of motorcycling...

I kinda think it is the other way around, the bike is perfect, it is me that is screwed up.


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post #16 of 17 Old Apr 17th, 2017, 3:41 pm
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Re: The Universal truths of motorcycling...

Some driver at a stop sign WILL abuse your right of way and pull out in front of you. Not a question of if, just a question of when. If you always expect it, you'll avoid the collision and go about your merry way.

Life happens...you control your reaction.

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post #17 of 17 Old Apr 18th, 2017, 12:13 pm
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Re: The Universal truths of motorcycling...

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonfromCB View Post
6. If you spend more time thinking about riding rather than riding. worrying about whether your bike is ready to go, wondering if you should wait for better weather, not going because you don't want to ride alone, or spend more time working on and/or cleaning your motorcycle than you spend riding, you are probably a motorcycle owner rather than a rider.
I resemble that remark!

I do find myself looking at the weather for my rides, looking around on occasion for someone to ride with especially if I'm planning on being out in the middle of nowhere, clean my windshield to pristine after every single ride, but put on just under 20K miles in the last year.
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