Chick
Oct 5th, 2005, 3:42 pm
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend,
Mr. Common Sense.
Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one
knows for sure how old he
was since his birth records were long ago lost in
bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such value
lessons as knowing
when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird
gets the worm and that
life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don't spend more
than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies
(adults, not kids, are in
charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well
intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of
a six-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a
classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a
teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were
required to get parental
consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could
not inform the
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to
have an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten
Commandments became
contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals
received better
treatment than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman
failed to realize that
a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in
her lap and was
awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents,
Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and
his son, Reason. He is
survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima
Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join
the majority and do
nothing.
Mr. Common Sense.
Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one
knows for sure how old he
was since his birth records were long ago lost in
bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such value
lessons as knowing
when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird
gets the worm and that
life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don't spend more
than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies
(adults, not kids, are in
charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well
intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of
a six-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a
classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a
teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were
required to get parental
consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could
not inform the
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to
have an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten
Commandments became
contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals
received better
treatment than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman
failed to realize that
a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in
her lap and was
awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents,
Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and
his son, Reason. He is
survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima
Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join
the majority and do
nothing.