DaveDragon
Dec 2nd, 2008, 3:39 am
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
Law of Gravity: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
(note: this works also when you first sit down on the "Bowl")
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Bio mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theater: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
The Starbucks Law: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law of Physical Appearance: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law of Public Speaking: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors' Law: If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
A blatent c&p from here (http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/7gtus/the_laws_of_ultimate_reality/)
Law of Gravity: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
(note: this works also when you first sit down on the "Bowl")
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Bio mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theater: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
The Starbucks Law: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law of Physical Appearance: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law of Public Speaking: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors' Law: If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
A blatent c&p from here (http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/7gtus/the_laws_of_ultimate_reality/)