BobShirley
Jan 4th, 2006, 10:50 pm
The Month After Christmas
>
>'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
>
>Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
>
>The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
>
>All the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
>
>When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
>
>When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
>
>I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
>
>The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
>
>The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
>
>And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
>
>As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
>
>And prepared once again to do battle with dirt--
>
>I said to myself, as I only can
>
>"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
>
>So, away with the last of the
>sour cream dip,
>
>Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
>
>Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
>
>'Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
>
>I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
>
>I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
>
>I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
>
>I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
>
>I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
>
>But isn't that what January is for?
>
>Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
>
>Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!
>
>
>'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
>
>Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
>
>The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
>
>All the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
>
>When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
>
>When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
>
>I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
>
>The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
>
>The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
>
>And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
>
>As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
>
>And prepared once again to do battle with dirt--
>
>I said to myself, as I only can
>
>"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
>
>So, away with the last of the
>sour cream dip,
>
>Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
>
>Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
>
>'Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
>
>I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
>
>I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
>
>I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
>
>I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
>
>I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
>
>But isn't that what January is for?
>
>Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
>
>Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!
>