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View Full Version : What if it happened today?????


jayz9705
Jan 4th, 2006, 9:22 pm
INFANT DISCOVERED IN BARN, CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES LAUNCH PROBE. Nazareth Carpenter Being Held On Charges Involving Underage Mother.



Bethlehem, Roman-occupied Judea – Authorities were today alerted by a concerned citizen who noticed a family living in a barn. Upon arrival, Family Protective Services personnel, accompanied by police, took into protective care an infant child named Jesus, who had been wrapped in strips of cloth and placed in a feeding trough by his 14-year old mother, Mary of Nazareth.



During the confrontation, a man identified as Joseph, also of Nazareth, attempted to stop the social workers. Joseph, aided by several local shepherds and some unidentified foreigners, tried to forestall efforts to take the child, but was restrained by the police.



Also being held for questioning are three foreigners who claim to be wise men from an eastern country. The INS and Homeland Security officials are seeking information about these, who may be in the country illegally. A source with the INS states that they had no passports, but were in possession of gold and other possibly illegal substances. They resisted arrest, saying that they had been warned by God to avoid officials in Jerusalem and to return quickly to their own country. The chemical substances in their possession will be tested.



The owner of the barn is also being held for questioning. The manager of the Bethlehem Inn faces possible revocation of his license for violating health and safety regulations by allowing people to stay in the stable. Civil authorities are also investigating the zoning violations involved in maintaining livestock in a commercially-zoned district.



The location of the minor child will not be released, and the prospect for a quick resolution to this case is doubtful. Asked about when Jesus would be returned to his mother, a Child Protective Service spokesperson said, "The father is middle-aged and the mother definitely underage. We are checking with officials in Nazareth to determine what their legal relationship is.



Joseph has admitted taking Mary from her home in Nazareth because of a census requirement. However, because she was obviously pregnant when they left, investigators are looking into other reasons for their departure.



Joseph is being held without bond on charges of molestation, kidnapping, child endangerment, and statutory rape. Mary was taken to the Bethlehem General Hospital where she is being examined by doctors. Charges may also be filed against her for endangerment. She will also undergo psychiatric evaluation because of her claim that she is a virgin and that the child is from God. The director of the psychiatric wing said, "I don't profess to have the right to tell people what to believe, but when their beliefs adversely affect the safety and well-being of others – in this case her child – we must consider her a danger to others. The unidentified drugs at the scene didn't help her case, but I'm confidant that with the proper therapy regimen we can get her back on her feet."



A spokesperson for the governor's office said, "Who knows what was going through their heads? But regardless, their treatment of the child was inexcusable, and the involvement of these others frightening. There is much we don't know about this case, but for the sake of the child and the public, you can be assured that we will pursue this matter to the end."

Chick
Jan 5th, 2006, 8:25 am
PTL that He was born 2000 years ago!!!!

SilverBuffalo
Jan 5th, 2006, 8:46 am
PTL that He was born 2000 years ago!!!!

All his works are always at the right time.

rixchard
Jan 5th, 2006, 11:44 am
Maybe we need to set up new section for the Jesus posts instead of having them scattered about.

SilverBuffalo
Jan 5th, 2006, 4:54 pm
Maybe we need to set up new section for the Jesus posts instead of having them scattered about.

What the blue blazes are you talking about?
Please point to any threads where someone has been offended by
.................Humor.....................
Go ahead, I dare you, I double dog dare you.

sorry, I couldn't help myself :) , come-on its humor :)

meese
Jan 5th, 2006, 7:28 pm
Oh, the offensive humor posts are there, Hans. But fortunately we're all adults and have moved on. :D

rixchard
Jan 6th, 2006, 8:35 am
No, it may have been placed in the humor section but it is just another veiled attempt by the christian majority to portray themselves as being victims of, and persecuted by, the evil secular government and yes I do find this kind of stuff offensive. it also offends me to think that they think I am stupid enough to fall for that old 'ha hah it's just a joke ' bit

NCoe
Jan 6th, 2006, 8:42 am
No, it may have been placed in the humor section but it is just another veiled attempt by the christian majority to portray themselves as being victims of, and persecuted by, the evil secular government and yes I do find this kind of stuff offensive. it also offends me to think that they think I am stupid enough to fall for that old 'ha hah it's just a joke ' bitFirst of all, last I knew no one is forced to read any particular post. If you know something is going to offend you so much, maybe you should avoid it. Secondly, while I can't say for sure, Jay may be surprised to find himself referred to as part of the "Christian Majority".

SilverBuffalo
Jan 6th, 2006, 9:02 am
No, it may have been placed in the humor section but it is just another veiled attempt by the christian majority to portray themselves as being victims of, and persecuted by, the evil secular government and yes I do find this kind of stuff offensive. it also offends me to think that they think I am stupid enough to fall for that old 'ha hah it's just a joke ' bit
I guess, you didn't "get it" when I used the words taken from one of your own posts,

I think its humor,

it just shows me how screwed up the "government" or world has become.

So I guess you don't like political humor? Especially when the word religion is mentioned in it.

eljeffe
Jan 6th, 2006, 9:09 am
Secondly, while I can't say for sure, Jay may be surprised to find himself referred to as part of the "Christian Majority".

Oh my God! I have just spent the last 5 minutes clearing diet coke from inside my lungs. Anyone that know Jay, and better yet, his wife Gilda, would understand why this is so damn funny!

jwp767
Jan 6th, 2006, 9:54 am
Oh my God! I have just spent the last 5 minutes clearing diet coke from inside my lungs. Anyone that know Jay, and better yet, his wife Gilda, would understand why this is so damn funny!

Hey eljeffe......let's not forget that Jesus was a Jew too !!

rixchard
Jan 6th, 2006, 10:00 am
Like pornography, I know propaganda when I see it.

NCoe
Jan 6th, 2006, 10:23 am
Like pornography, I know propaganda when I see it.That is certainly an interesting juxtaposition of terms. Are you as offended by pornography as you are by people of faith expressing their views?

pkpr1998
Jan 6th, 2006, 5:38 pm
Our government!

Let's keep this light; can you imagine (since most of us are 45+ and most of our children are grown) you have your child or children, you are at the mall or grocery store, they get out of line and they need a spanking, you spank them only to have someone call the Police, they come and arrest you!

So, in conclusion, poor ole' Mary and Joseph would have been labeled as "bad" parents!

jayz9705
Jan 7th, 2006, 5:00 pm
No, it may have been placed in the humor section but it is just another veiled attempt by the christian majority to portray themselves as being victims of, and persecuted by, the evil secular government and yes I do find this kind of stuff offensive. it also offends me to think that they think I am stupid enough to fall for that old 'ha hah it's just a joke ' bit


Richard, I can say that this is NOT any sort of attempt by the christian majority to do anything........you are making a fool of yourself, without any help whatever!

It WAS just a joke.....and posted by a NON-CHRISTIAN!

KBandit
Jan 7th, 2006, 5:03 pm
It WAS just a joke.....and posted by a NON-CHRISTIAN!

you mean i am not the only one? Thank God! LOL!

SilverBuffalo
Jan 8th, 2006, 8:00 am
Richard, I can say that this is NOT any sort of attempt by the christian majority to do anything........you are making a fool of yourself, without any help whatever!
It WAS just a joke.....and posted by a NON-CHRISTIAN!

"The Lord works in mysterious ways" :D

messenger13
Jan 9th, 2006, 3:59 pm
The original post was funny. But the circus that rixchard turned this thread into is PRICELESS!!! :D

I've tasted my foot a time or two...but some people seemed to have acquired a real taste fo it! :D :D :D

BMWphreak
Jan 9th, 2006, 8:03 pm
Oy Vey!