norsseman
Jan 16th, 2008, 2:08 pm
These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded but, boy, are these funny!!!
1 Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
4. Your son is depriving a village some where of an 'idiot'.
5.Your son sets low personal standards, and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
11. It's impossible to believe the 1 sperm that created this child, beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is definitely dead.
These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:
15. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
16. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
18. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
21. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
23. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
25. "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
27. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
28. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
1 Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
4. Your son is depriving a village some where of an 'idiot'.
5.Your son sets low personal standards, and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
11. It's impossible to believe the 1 sperm that created this child, beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is definitely dead.
These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:
15. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
16. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
18. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
21. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
23. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
25. "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
27. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
28. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."