jgburns
Dec 14th, 2006, 7:46 pm
My brother sent this to me and I think it's funny enough to share. I need to come up with a parallel for the motorcycle accident story that goes with my broken collarbone (I've started to lie to strangers because I'm tired of the ignorant questions and remarks. Now I have to make it as funny as this).
I have a Labrador Retriever and I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog? (DUH!)
On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was
starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't,
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it
was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to
load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by
now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an
Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!
I have a Labrador Retriever and I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog? (DUH!)
On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was
starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't,
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it
was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to
load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by
now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an
Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!