hschisler
Sep 27th, 2006, 9:03 pm
<<< Well... it's been awhile since we heard from our favorite Cleveland-area guitar-strummin' vocalisin' hard-ridin' ex-LT guy. A couple of threads have been created on this subject, with no responses from Mr. Messenger13. So, out of curiousity and a little concern that everything is OK, I'll take this opportunity to bait Joe with this post. Hopefully he'll poke his head out of his burrow and tell us what he's been up to. >>>
With apologies to David Letterman, here are the Top Ten Reasons why we aren't hearing from Joe:
#10: He is on the road, following in the tire tracks of Alton Brown. His new show, scheduled to air next month, is "Feasting on Donuts" and will feature video segments of Joe and his camera crew tasting the treats from the finest donut shops across the country.
#9: Simply put: too much nice weather recently NOT to be riding the GT!
#8: The electric seat he fabricated (based on Ari's famous farkle) malfunctioned. It threw him off on a deserted road and he's been laying in a ditch waiting for a passing motorist to see him.
#7: He's in jail in Gopher Gulch, Tennessee, unable to make bail after being arrested and losing his license when he tried to race a local PoPo on a Harley. It was a clean and fair race and Joe won, but Mr. Police Officer wasn't pleased.
#6: He's in jail in Gopher Gulch, Tennessee after the mayor's wife spotted Joe coming out of the local diner sporting a pair of those Finnish shorts like Jouko modeled at CCR. Mrs. Mayor fainted and Joe was arrested on the spot. Word has it that Joe has had seven jailhouse marriage proposals... so far.
#5: He heard BMW was sponsoring a GT-only rally in Prudhoe Bay, Alaska. He'll be back early next week.
#4: He's on a seven-state scavenger hunt. All that remains on his list is a pack of Lucky Strikes Lights, a six-pack of Billy Beer, and a guitar pick once used by B. B. King.
#3: He's holding Rock's hand while Rock goes through a lengthy series of laser dermabrasion treatments to remove the tattoos.
#2: Rock changed his mind at the last minute, has Joe strapped into the chair in his tattoo parlor, and is putting the finishing touches on his rendition of The Last Supper across Joe's back.
and the #1 reason why we aren't hearing from Joe (actually based on a smidgen of truth):
#1: He's busy cleaning out his wife's side of their garage, knowing if he doesn't make room for Mrs. Messenger13's car before winter (which starts September 29th in Cleveland) she's gonna knock him silly.
With apologies to David Letterman, here are the Top Ten Reasons why we aren't hearing from Joe:
#10: He is on the road, following in the tire tracks of Alton Brown. His new show, scheduled to air next month, is "Feasting on Donuts" and will feature video segments of Joe and his camera crew tasting the treats from the finest donut shops across the country.
#9: Simply put: too much nice weather recently NOT to be riding the GT!
#8: The electric seat he fabricated (based on Ari's famous farkle) malfunctioned. It threw him off on a deserted road and he's been laying in a ditch waiting for a passing motorist to see him.
#7: He's in jail in Gopher Gulch, Tennessee, unable to make bail after being arrested and losing his license when he tried to race a local PoPo on a Harley. It was a clean and fair race and Joe won, but Mr. Police Officer wasn't pleased.
#6: He's in jail in Gopher Gulch, Tennessee after the mayor's wife spotted Joe coming out of the local diner sporting a pair of those Finnish shorts like Jouko modeled at CCR. Mrs. Mayor fainted and Joe was arrested on the spot. Word has it that Joe has had seven jailhouse marriage proposals... so far.
#5: He heard BMW was sponsoring a GT-only rally in Prudhoe Bay, Alaska. He'll be back early next week.
#4: He's on a seven-state scavenger hunt. All that remains on his list is a pack of Lucky Strikes Lights, a six-pack of Billy Beer, and a guitar pick once used by B. B. King.
#3: He's holding Rock's hand while Rock goes through a lengthy series of laser dermabrasion treatments to remove the tattoos.
#2: Rock changed his mind at the last minute, has Joe strapped into the chair in his tattoo parlor, and is putting the finishing touches on his rendition of The Last Supper across Joe's back.
and the #1 reason why we aren't hearing from Joe (actually based on a smidgen of truth):
#1: He's busy cleaning out his wife's side of their garage, knowing if he doesn't make room for Mrs. Messenger13's car before winter (which starts September 29th in Cleveland) she's gonna knock him silly.